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Your predictions for the next generation
X Gamer 66 |
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Don't touch that canned cheese!
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Don't worry, I've combined some present day stereotypes into one big prediction of the next next-gen systems:
Console -Microsoft release the 'Xbox Dawg' or something with some other retarted street name. It will be the exact same thing as Xbox 360, but they'll turn two of the buttons into a third set of shoulder buttons for no reason at all. Since you play Xbox flat on the ground and 360 standing up, I'm guessing the Dawg will be on a diagonal or something. Slightly better graphics. No less than $900 upon release. Games about $75 each.
-Sony will release to PS4 (surprise :seriouslyD). The controller will be the exact same thing as a PS3 (and PS2 and PSX) and the console will be a little more curved. Doesn't seem too interesting, so Sony will through in a useless additional technology: the controller will double as a phone. New, improved giant enemy crab. $1250 when released. Games about $100 each.
-Nintendo releases something similar to the Wii, but the controller will have a different arrangement/setup and overall appearence (like how they went from the N64 to Gamecube). Graphics will get better (which is surprising). It may come with a virtual reality helmit or something too. Oh, SSB4 is going to be gnarly. :3 The system will have a unique name that no one likes. $550 when released. Games about $60 each.
Hand-held -Microsoft will make a portable Xbox, but with less quality than the Xbox (of course). It will be bulky, like an 80's cell phone. $350 for the system and $50 for the games.
-Sony releases the PSP2. Same as the PSP, but slimmer and all together smaller and more compact. Will have all the features of a PSP. $450 for the system and $65 for the games.
-Nintendo will have a handheld with Gamecube-like graphics. It comes with a laser pointer used similarly to the stylus from the DS... But with lasers. :O Basically a DS with one screen and better graphics. Oh, and there will be an improved Mic and an eye sensor thing. Fun fact: One or two kids will be stupid enough to stare at the laser pointed driectly into their eyes. Despite they must do this for three hours straight in order to cause any damage to their eyes, there's going to be all kinds of sueings, stereotypes, and Jack Thompson rants about it all because the parents of the children were too stupid to read the "DO NOT POINT LASER BEAM AT EYES FOR EXTENDED PERIODS OF TIME" warning on the box and/or enforce it upon their kids.
And everyone will say Nintendo is too kiddy and there will be mass murders during atempts to obtain Xbox Dawgs and PS4s.
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End stereotypes
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Captain Koopa |
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LOOK MA NO HANDS
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1. Microsoft will attempt to make a handheld system that will be an embarrassment to the whole world. 2. The PS3 will fail, and Sony will improve on the PSP so that it kicks the DS's butt, and a handheld war will break out. 3. Microsoft and Nintendo will fight for control of Sega and the Sonic series, cause if Nintendo gets control of Sega, the battle could turn in their favor, but if Microsoft wins, then either one of them could be screwed 4. X-Box Live will be hacked so much that it'll close down
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Neo Hyper Yoshi |
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I leave MFGG 2 with a classic.
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- Owning to extreme delays, the PS3 literally bombs in Europe when launched. This, combined with the other PR disasters and the Blu - Ray flop, results in the near bankruptcy of Sony. Sony becomes an online store, much like Dell.
- The Xbox360 becomes the ' cool ' console for people to have following Sony's demise. this results in Microsoft developing the Xbox720 and Xboy.
- The Nintendo Wii becomes an sensation. It becomes THE icon of modern pop culture and an essential part of the living room furniture, with stock images, advertisements for beer and whatnot reflecting this.
- Super Smash Brother's Brawl, the biggest selling game of all time, is credited for bringing peace to Northern Ireland and many other places in the world, as everyone is too busy playing it. The need for more player's will bring communities together and resolve any differences that people have between each other.
- However, on its launch, there are mass riots and murders initially as Nintendo struggle to keep up with demand for the game. This is short lived however as Sony agree to help with producing more copies.
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Did you actually expect something here!?
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