my star fox fan fic updated, better than ever!

[YoshiOverlord#33;]

Star Fox: A Disaster


One not so typical day in the Great Fox Mothership, one year after victory over
the Anglar forces, Slippy, Fox, and Falco were seated in a comfy lavish couch, sipping Inter Steller Soda, and dining on fried Anglar catfish, attempting to relax, for the first time in eighteen light years. Everyone in Team Star Fox had been hyper. Recently, they had been mercilessly bombarded with an overload of do or die missions; it had seemed that every second that went by, General Peppy’s hologram would pop up out of thin air, and asssure them that the entire universe was at stake, putting invariable stress and apprehension on the Star Fox squadron. Although they enjoyed getting missions for money, they hadn’t been getting paid as much recently. The stress was especially hard for ROB the robot, who had been taken to seven Cornerian Mental Councelling sessions as of late. Although being described by his friends as a calm android, he was having emotional trouble, and was feeling like a useless affiliate of the team.
Falco wasn’t particularly bothered, he enjoyed the thrills of piloting and war combat so much, he could live, eat and sleep in his Arwing if he was forced to. Fox was frustrated that not only was his life (and the lives of millions throughout the cosmos) constantly at the brink of obliteration, his revenue wasn’t nearly as high as he was hoping for the weekend. He had been planning on taking Slippy, Krystal, Bill, and Falco on an extended golf trip on the recently liberated planet Fortuna, and leaving full responsibility for the fate of the galaxy on ROB and Amanda (Slippy’s fiancée), despite having many second thoughts on the decision. Slippy was rather jittery, constantly implying that he was on the verge of croaking, and even wrote a 790 page long will and promised that if he croaked in the line of duty he was to give most of his belongings to Fox, even though Fox had virtually no interest in his large collection of antique toad statues whatsoever. Falco made a suggestion to Slippy.
“Listen you little “calf frog”, why don’t you just leave our lil rag tag pitiful excuse for a group, marry that pink…………..thing you met on Aquas, and STOP that REVOLTING RIBBITING IN MY EAR!!!” said Falco.
“I’ll have you know I’m not a calf frog, you overly cantankerous cretin!. I’m a full grown bullfrog, and I’m not the same wimpy little green……inventor you once knew! Fox, why does Falco always pick on me?” asked Slippy. Fox just looked at Slippy, chuckled, and said nothing. Slippy ran off into the other room sobbing and complaining to ROB, who was also sobbing and complaining.
“Misery loves company. I feel bad for Slippy, but he’s not the only one that constantly
has the fate of the galaxy on his hands!” said Fox.
“I’m the ONLY one that has to listen to constant buzzing, bizzing and ribbiting from Slippy! Not only is my life always at stake, so are my ears! I’m going up to the hot tub upstairs! I can’t take it anymore!” Falco responded.
“Slippy makes strange sounds in your ear? Unique friendship there. Uhh, well I’ll tell ya if I pick up any missions from the big cheese, General Parmesian, I mean Peppy!” said Fox. Falco began to go upstairs.
“Peppy, Pepper, Parmesian, what’s the difference? When Peppy gets too old, he’ll be replaced by Plooper!” said Falco running towards the stairs.
“I sure wish Slippy would get his act together. He’s more aggravating than a fleet of ten thousand enemy ships! Heck, I’ll take the enemy ships over Slippy, any day!” muttered Falco as he stomped upstairs like a monsterous chicken, squawking and flapping his wings.
“Enemy ships??” asked Bill, who stormed into the room to put on his coat.
“NO! Wait, calm down! Take your morning medicine! There’s some in the cupboard! I have some chocolate covered lylation molt balls, and there’s a good TV show on! Wait!” said Fox.
“No time to wait, I must hasten!” said Bill as he rushed out the door in a hasty manner, entered his arwing and flew off in a fit of insanity. This alone, was proof that Fox and the gang should probably retire.
Just as Falco was about to sit in the hot tub upstairs, he encountered one of Slippy’s experimental devices that emerged from the bubbling water. It was a robot that resembled Phantron, only with a giant laser cannon attached to it, and it chased Falco out of the room, making death threats in robo-code, and biting his tail feathers.
“WHY SLIPPY? WHY???? STOP THIS CRAZY THING!” squawked Falco. Fox was still watching television, completely oblivious that his friendly rival was being chased by
a war crazed automaton designed by his closest friend from elementary school. The robot began spewing forth lasers. Finally, a message from General Peppy interrupted Fox’s favorite show (Captain LaserPants), but just before Peppy was about to give the team an obligation, a laser from Slippy’s death apparatus killed the signal, and the television set. Now, Fox and Falco were very angry….at Slippy. Croaking and buzzing were two different things. Destroying a message from General Peppy, and causing the loss of a major war, was a very very different third thing. Slippy, who had just been comforted by ROB, came into the living room and had prepared an apology speech to Falco, but it was too late for that.
“Dippy, look what happened when I was bathing! Not such a hot idea, to stick a wild terror mongering mechanism…in a hot tub! Whose idea was that?’ asked Falco who was still in shock. It was Slippy’s idea. He began to explain.
“It can only function efficiently in h20! I forgot to presage you. You see, it was designed for battles in the Venomian Seas, I was planning on using it to take out the Anglars!” said Slippy.
“Well why did you decide to use it to take out US??? And now, because of your brilliance, we’re all stew meat unless I can find my
star phone, so we can contact Peppy to inform him we lost the stinking signal!” said Fox.
“I think it fell out of my pocket when I was being chased by that crazed pile of space junk! Maybe it’s near that thorny rose bush that Krystal planted!” said Falco. Sure enough there it was. Fox reached into the soil and picked it up.
“As soon as I walked past that potted plant, I sensed the phone. Must be ESP!” said Fox.
“HELLO! I told you to look there, looney spatooni! Now hurry up and call Peppy before everyone in the Lylat System dies!” shouted Falco as he slapped Fox on the back, causing the phone to fly out the open window far into deep space!
“It’s all my fault!” said Slippy.
“We all love you to pieces Slippy, calm down. If we can intercept missiles, we can intercept cell phones! LET’S GO!” declared Fox.
“A PHONE? Imagine that guys, chasing a phone through outer space!
YAHOO! THAT IS HILARIOUS!” said Slippy bursting out laughing.
“Chill out Fox. I have a phone too you know! First we’ll call Peppy, then we’ll call
Space Dynamics and ask for some new equipment!” suggested Falco.
“I hope we get back in time to watch Leon Powalski sing Corneria the Beautiful!” said Fox.
“I’d really crack up at that! Even I have to admit! If we come back alive, we’ll get to see that, but of course, we won’t!” said Falco dialing the number. After ordering new equipment (which cost them all the money they had earned in war), and receiving the missed call from Peppy, which warned them of a massive threat by a race of bloodthirsty
mechanical Yeti soldiers, Falco and Fox saw that Miyu the Lynx was hanging upside
down from the ceiling like a bat.
“We’ve gotta scramble the jets and get out of here, Miss Bat Cat. What are you DOING???” asked Falco.
“I was hibernating, silly!” said Miyu.
“Well, we’ll let you hibernate then. Our prayers are with you Miyu!” said Fox.
“Yes, that’s right. Fox’s prayers are with you Miyu! Can we leave Slippy behind too?” asked Falco.
“Uhh..I really don’t think so. Really, just no. I’d be worried about that. Slippy is all too necessary. That evil device he made might come in handy against Andross’s YetiTrons when we reach Aquas!” said Fox.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK! HOLY YEAST BUCKETS!” said the poor little helpless misunderstood war heroine Miyu as she fell to the floor and
flattened ROB. Slippy rushed up to ROB, and immediately felt his robotic chest to see if he had a pulse.
“His heart isn’t beating!” said a concerned looking Slippy. A wicked smile beamed from Falco’s face.
“We don’t have time for that! Robots don’t have heartbeats! He’s fine! We have to leave and take the fight to the YetiTron forces! Our first stop is Macbeth, and that’s 20 light years away! COME ON ALREADY!” said Fox dragging Slippy away from ROB.
“That robot took no deliberation to the fact that I was in the middle of a really
good dream! I’m really not amused with him! I also wish he’d quit complementing me on my perfume! Who programmed it to do THAT?” said Miyu getting up off the floor and wiping her jeans. Falco chuckled with an embarresed look on his face, as he put on his mercernary garb and leaped into his arwing. Fox, Slippt, and even Amanda got into their respective Arwings and blasted off into the celestial heavens to defend the universe. Twenty light years later, they reached the fiery dark and dreary red planet known as Macbeth. Their mission was to activate a switch that would give the team access to one of Andross’s secret artillary bases hidden underneath the molten lava. Fox had to drop a bomb on a giant robot standing on top of the switch, then he used his Ar-Walker function to activate it. The hidden base emerged from the lava, as planned, and Fox flew in to take out its core. He blew up the core, as well as succeeding in shooting down 250 thousand evil enemy fighters, after liberating Macbeth. When the team left, they decided to all get into Fox’s arwing due to the other ones being in extremely bad condition, and began setting a course for Titania.
“My lovely fiancée here, happens to be allergic to sand, you unthoughtful ones!” said Slippy.
“What do you want us to do, stop and start setting a course for Eladard to buy
allergy medicine?” asked Falco in a sarcastic tone.
“Actually, the only place you can get allergy medicine prescriptions is on
Planet Kew! I think I left my badmitten shoes there too, not to mention
my old Parcheezi board. Can we set a course for Kew instead?” asked Slippy.
“Yeah! Let’s do Kew! Let’s go to Planet Kew! NOW! Kew baby, KEW! Kew is kewl!” said Amanda banging on the window.
“The fate of the universe is at stake, and you want to stop and have fun
on Planet Kew! What’s with you?” asked Fox.
“Maybe that’s just what being engaged does to you. That is why
we robots do not marry and have children. We are superior!” said ROB.
“Yeah, but I bet you robotic computer folk can’t die or shut up either!” said Falco giving ROB a good punch in the hard drive.
“Not so hard. You’ll disrupt my data and I’ll forget how to speak!”
“Yep. One swat in the stomach and their brains fall out. A thwack in the head,
their data is dead! Robots sure are superior to humans alright!” said Falco.
“I second that. You are all filthy flea bitten animals!!!!” said Rob.
“Enough with the insults!” said Fox.
“No, seriously, you wouldn’t even recognize a real human if you saw one. Humans
come from a distant planet known as Earth!” explained ROB opening up his digital
encyclopedia.
“Okay okay, well, keep in mind everyone we’re not going to Earth OR Eladard,
let alone “Kew” we’re heading for Titania because Andross’s forces are occupying
it, and whether you want to admit it or not, we’re on a mission. Now let’s turn on the FM radio!” said Fox. After several weeks, they finally reached the planet of Titania, but their technology went bonkers as soon as they were near the planet. Fox and most
of the team disappeared into thin air, except Falco and Slippy, whose arwing was being
sucked into a mothership. When they were in the mothership, they shot down several YetiTron troops together, and then entered a portal. Suddenly, they were face to face
with Andross himself. Well, his ghost at least.








Meanwhile…..


Leon Powalski’s Mission:



Meanwhile, on the other side of the Lylat System, Leon Powalski had retired from
the Star Wolf team, and had become a famous singer, despite the disapproval of his former teamates.
“Panther finds your voice rather, peculiar!” said Panther, as Leon was giving his wingmen the news of his alleged talent.
“I’d like to know this so called “music corporation” that you sent those tapes to. Are you sure they’re for real?” asked Wolf. Leon was simply snubbed.
“Panther thinks there might be a reason why Leon and lip sink both begin with the letter L!” declared Panther, thinking of himself as very droll.
“Sssssoo, you don’t think I’m very talented do you, puny minded disrespecful urchins? You are merely jealous! How cantankerous you make me. I shall prove you all wrong, when you watch me sing before ten thousand inferior ones at the Galacta Bowl tonight!” said Leon folding his arms in discontentment.
“Giving up his life of crime at such a young age. Panther will miss you ever so!” said Panther, almost in tears at the sheer thought of Leon leaving the team.
“I will leave you all with one thing to remember me by. My anger and hatrid of you all!” said Leon slamming the door, and rushing to his arwing to make sure he wouldn’t be late.
“Panther thinks Leon may have been, a bit upset!” said Panther chewing on a rose petal.
“Wolf thinks maybe you should shut your third person petal chewing trap!” said Wolf O’ Donnel munching on a parsely leaf.


To be continued…







Part 6: Falco and Slippy Take Out Andross!!!!!!!!


“I never thought my superior shakespeare mask starship would see the day that you two rebellious runts tried to take me out with your pathetic plasma shots! But, since I managed to capture Fox and friends, my wish is finally granted! The two weakest
members of the team, are here asking for me to kill them! And destroy you I will, for
I am the ghost of Andross, the true ruler of this dimension! HAHAAHAHAHHA! Prepare to enjoy a slow painful death!” said
Andross.
“You take out the light blue eye, Slip Dip, and I’ll take out the indigo eye! How’s that for a deal? Each individual eye is worth 20 bucks!” said Falco.
“Got it!” said Slippy as he steered his ship towards the indigo eye of Andross’s face ship.
“NO! That’s the wrong eye! Oh well, sadly this is no time to argue!” said Falco as he began shooting and blasting in a furious fit of anger. Andross’s light blue eye was all but
diminished and destroyed.
“You did the lil baby blue eye, and now I’m gonna take out the tough one!” said Slippy. Within one shot however, the indigo eye was gone. Soon the ship dissassembled, and the all too recognizeable cardboard box of the Dark Lord began floating around.
“I GET TO DESTROY THE BOX! I’LL SEND IT TO KINGDOM COME!” said Slippy. Slippy shot the box, while dodging Falco’s envious green twin lasers, with all his
might and within minutes, Slippy and Falco had worked together and had successfully saved the universe.
“HOW COULD THIS HAVE HAPPENED? ME, AN EMPEROR, TAKEN DOWN BY A SLIMEY FROG AND A FILTHY FALCON! AAAAAAAAAAAAUGH!” said Andross, as he fell to his well deserved demise.
“I suppose I couldn’t have done it without you, Dippy frog dude! Ahem! I mean, let’s
go save the others!” said Falco. They entered the mothership where Fox and the “others” were being held to save them. Miyu, Fox, Peppy, and Katt were all being hung from the ceiling, all tied up. Amanda was in the back room of the mothership, and was tied and constrained to a chair.
“Hanging out?” asked Falco.
“Hey, Falco baby! Did I ever tell you I have a boomerang?” asked Slippy, as he dispatched a blue boomerang from his tunic’s pocket and thrusted it towards the ropes that his fellow wing pals were tied to. But although they got freed from the ropes, they all fell right out of the mothership down into a wormhole leading to a parallel universe. Falco folded his arms in discontentment, and gave Slippy a good stare.
“Hey Dip, you know what this means? Because of yer wise idea
ta pull out that boomerang you created, we now have to work together AGAIN!!!!!! Of all the people to be stuck with!” said Falco putting his hands on his face and squawking.
“Falco baby, I’m sorry. Look, we just defeated Andross, we should be happy. So, another one of my inventions failed to do its job! Falco baby, are we going to jump down into that wormhole or what? Ribbit! I haven’t hopped a good hop since my days as a pond frog in the Everglades!” said Slippy.
“When did you live in the Everglades? That’s on Earth! 13 light years away! Most of our ships aren’t capable of zoomin that far, and that fast!” said Falco.
“Never. I just have a lot of friends that live there! Like Jeremiah, he’s a bullfrog, Wart, Jeremy, Ribbert, among others! Never mind that. Let’s hop! Hopping is the only solution!” said Slippy.
“As much as I hate to admit it, I’d miss taunting Fox and friends if they fell down into a parallel universe and I never saw them again. Hop? You retard!!!!! We’d get stuck! You know what? I think this mission is too tough for you, tadpole! I’m gonna get in that there arwing and find out what’s happening to my former rivals down there!” said Falco. Slippy could hear Falco let out a yelp 8 seconds after he had entered the wormhole. Slippy was the only one left who hadn’t fallen in. Or was he? He had forgotten about Amanda!
“Amanda! Amanda! Fox and friends just fell down clear off the ship into a wormhole.
I’m not sure how it happened! They must have been sucked in. You’re going to have
to come with me. I don’t want you stuck here forever!” exclaimed Slippy.
“Oh Slippy you’re such a card. I know you’re just joking!” said Amanda.
“If it were a joke, I’d croak, come on already, I’ll…….I’ll prove it
to you!” said Slippy. Amanda followed Slippy and they looked down the escape
hatch, and could hear Fox and Friends yelping, still being sucked further into the
wormhole.
“Slippy, there’s no soil here. Worms couldn’t possibly make holes in an
area like this!” said the dim witted Amanda.
“Well, I hope you remember what I looked like, because if you’re not coming
with me, I’d better go! Geronimo!” said Slippy as he hopped down into the wormhole screaming.
“SLIPPY! You just got sucked into a parallel universe! Don’t worry, I’ll
be right there!” said Amanda leaping down the escape hatch.




Part 7: The Planet of Kew


When Slippy and Amanda arrived on the other end of the wormhole, the area looked all too familiar. They didn’t see Fox and friends anywhere, but they were delighted. This was the planet they knew. This was the planet of Kew! Kew was a somewhat industrialized planet, yet it was filled with swamps and jungles perfect for frogs. Slippy pulled out his portable beach chair and laid down to recline.
“Well Amanda, no more Falco, no more Fox, no more generals, no more wars,
just me and you here on Kew! Ribbit!! Hey, why are you crying?” asked Slippy.
“Well, I was happy at first, but…I’m still worried about the other pilots. Anything
could have happened to them. They could have been struck by thunder, run over by
lightening, drowned by a car, oh I hate to think of it!” said Amanda.
“Ribbit! You’re right. If we don’t rescue them, we’ll wander the galaxies lost
forever. But you look like you need some rest. You’re a much paler pink than you
were when I last saw you!” said Slippy. Just then an elite galactic C4 bomber jet flew over Slippy and Amanda dispensing a huge bomb that was going to land right over their
heads.
“Ribbit! Bogey on our six!” said Slippy as he grabbed Amanda’s hand running for his
life and trying his hardest to drag Amanda away from the bomb despite her resistance.
“I heard a big BOOM sound, maybe that was Falco.What would have happened if it had hit us Slippy? I would have gone over there and calmed it down if you had let me! ” said Amanda.
“I don’t know if that would have worked. I’m not sure I’ve ever seen anything like that before, but if I had to guess it was just one of those random droppings from the sky!” said Slippy.
“You don’t suppose Falco could be responsible, you don’t suppose Falco was
seeking revenge on you or something, I mean you did tell me once that if you were
to croak, it would definitely be fowl play!” said Amanda.
“Falcky??? Oh no, me and Falco were hitting it off just fine. Told him about
my friends from the Everglades, and a bit of my life history!”
“Good. But Slippy, aren’t you worried about Falco and the rest?” asked Amanda.
“Yeah. A bit!” said Slippy. Just then the same C4 bomber plane flew over the heads
of the two talking toads, and to his horror, Slippy could hear Falco’s voice say “Drat! I’m out of ammo!”








Part 8: Final Battle

A week later, Fox, Bill Grey, and Miyu found themselves locked in a prison cell by an apparently brainwashed Falco.
“That bird always was a thorn in my side! It goes back to Kindergarten. Always
making fun of me for hanging out with Slippy, always having a sour puss attitude,
always overly competitive, no need for me to list it all!” said Fox pacing back and forth.
“I could just eat that pidgeon for sending us here!” said Miyu.
“I think Falco’s been brainwashed by the evil Kew hierarchy, and the only way to stop
him is with Slippy’s crazy device that you saved in your pocket!” suggested Bill.
“Well aren’t you a genius Bill! Hey Mr. Bushy tail, pull out Slippy’s gizmo and we’ll
kick some kew butt!” said Miyu. Fox reluctantly pulled out the device, sure enough it broke through the cell bars, zoomed into the throne room, chased Falco and began zapping him right in the head, de-activating the brain control. It also knocked the evil
Kew King unconscious.
“That’s the way we do things in the South!” said Bill.
“Let’s get out of here and surprise Slippy with a bouquet of flowers!” said Falco,
who had not only recovered from the mind control but seemingly changed into a light hearted person just from a few zaps to the head.
“You know Falco, that’s a great idea. His nutty gizmo saved you from being
a mind washed mad magpie!” said Fox. Falco rolled his eyes, denied that he was
brainwashed and hopped into an arwing, and blasted off having liberated Kew
and heard the good news of Andross’s defeat.









THE END

[Josiah]

This post has been edited by Josiah on Dec 2 2006, 10:29 PM

[Max Rider]

Cool!

[Zierant]

Ill give it a 5/10...to long and didnt read, but for effort. so 50 50 =P