Two hilarious misadventures, in the fictional Sploot Kingdom

One typical perfectly normal sunshiny morning in the Sploot Kingdom, Zync the tiny gnome-like creature and his tweenaged thumb twiddiling twin sister TwoodleBerry were having an expedition in The Big Spooky Forest. Zync visited The Big Spooky Forest daily, always trying to find rare and strange objects, despite the stone slab nearbye Azlamb’s palace stating “Don’t ask, just don’t ask” which was Prophet Snudd’s advice regarding strange talking objects. The forest itself was known to be inhabited by ghosts, dwarves, elves, UFO’s, among other paranormal phenomena. As Zync walked down the long interwinding paths of the forest, it wasn’t long before he stumbled upon a big grey bucket of black ink. The bucket of ink appeared rather lively, as the very bucket itself shook and shook as Zync got closer to approaching it face to bucket, and it was as if the bucket of ink could sense Zync’s footsteps. Finally the bucket revealed itself to be as alive in the same sense as a human being, it sprouted arms and hands, and picked up Zync’s sister Twoodleberry Mync, and threatened to toss her in the ink, unless Zync could think up a way of getting the ink out of its body.
“For centuries I have been filled with ink. I have been told by many that if I were to dump it out of my system it would clutter up this magic land and pollute it. Now I have no solutions to my problem. You must find a use for the ink inside me and get rid of it!!!! I need you to find something that can dispose of my ink in a constructive manner, dear
Boy! At least the Trimbulene Treadmills have a record of 2 wins and 0 losses, but that doesn’t distract from the fact that I have an ink overload, and I’m certainly NOT a printer. PLEASE HELP ME!” shouted the impatient and extraordinary talking bucket of magic ink. Just then, in the nick of time, Zync noticed an enourmas pen hanging down from a leaveless and withering tree. The pen hadn’t been there before, and seemed to appear just at the right time that Zync needed it. Zync, being a tiny gnome-like creature barely weighing a pound, found it difficult to lift the pen. The bucket was angered by this, and began tilting himself in front of Zync.
“YOU MUST HURRY! These movements of mine are involuntary. I really need to get this ink out of my system!!!! I don’t care how small you are, you must help me!” shouted the demanding and disrespectful bucket of magic elvish ink. Zync looked around in the forest and began shouting for assistance in his cute and tiny voice. Suddenly a small spacecraft could be seen in the distance. It landed, and a small friendly round antennied
red booted one named Plinky came out of it.
“Need some help? It’s the bucket again, isn’t it? Everyone who comes to these woods has trouble with the bucket. I’ve never even seen that many spooky things here except
that crazy bucket! If you fetch me a zooshy fruit from the tree behind us, I’ll lift the pen for you! I’ve got more muscle than you’d notice at first glance, trust me!” said Plinky raising his eyebrows and grinning ear to ear. Sure enough, Zync retreived the zooshy fruit and fed it to Plinky. Plinky picked up the magic feather pen, stuck it in the bucket, and retreived virtually all the ink that had for so long been of a major annoyance to the bucket. The bucket released TwoodleBerry Mync from his hands and thanked Plinky for removing the ink.
“Thank you so much for removing my ink Plinky!” said the bucket.
“Oh it was nothing really. Zync did all the work!!!” said the eternally humble mild mannered Plinky, as his cheeks began to blush. There was some rustling in the bushes, and a magic cow that belonged to Prophet Snudd appeared out of nowhere.
“Zync, the reason for Plinky’s superior strength and abilities is due to the
fruit that he eats that these trees bare. These trees bare fruits known as Zooshy Fruits, which contain all the vitamins you need to be very very strong!!!” stated the magical cow.
“So what do you want me to do with this enourmas pen??? Can I draw a portrait of you?” asked Plinky.
“No no no, I was not expecting the likes of YOU to have anything to do with the pen, Mr. Plinky!!!! This pen is hereby indebted to Zync and it is imperative that he use the pen wisely and skillfully!!! Plinky, can you share with the chosen one the other un eaten
half of your Zooshy Fruit?” asked the cow.
“SURE!!! He can have the other half of my zooshy fruit!!” said Plinky. After taking one bite of the zooshy fruit, Zync felt an immediate supercharge in his body. The magic cow glanced towards Plinky.
“SHOO, round antennied nuisance. You are of no use anymore!!! This gnome can’t fulfill his destiny as long as you’re around!” said the cow whose name was Snoojal. Plinky walked slowly and sadly back to his space craft, and zoomed off along with his blueberry loving bro conveinently named Blueberry. Afterwards, the bucket began shaking and quivering. Zync was about to inquire about the purpose of the magic pen but before he could do so the bucket leaped into the air and smashed and pounded the ground like a Tyrannesaurus rex.
“I’m HUNGRY!!!!!!!!” the bucket yelled.
“How could you possibly be hungry after that ink job?” asked Zync’s sister Twoodleberry Mync.
“I could ask the same ridiculous question concerning the likes of you and your
brother. Besides, what would you two know about hunger? You two are GNOMES!!!! Your stomachs are so tiny, that so much as a single raspberry could fill them for months!!!!” shouted the bucket.
“Well, what do you like to eat, Mr. Bucket?” asked Zync in an inquisitive tone.
“Mr. Bucket?”, thundered the bucket. “I shall ALWAYS be addressed as Sir Bucket, as stated in all of the Sploot Kingdom’s doctrines. Now make yourselves useful and fetch me….a fruit salad. That’s right, gather up all the exotic fruits of this forest and whip me up a fruit salad. And make it snappy. And don’t rub your fingers all over my food, that can cause germs to happen, and I really DON’T LIKE GERMS!!!! MARCH ONWARDS! AND FETCHETH ME SOME FRUIT!” shouted the rather zealous and angry bucket. Zync and TwoodelBerry began wandering the woods collecting all the fruits from the trees, berries from the bushes, and every last zooshy fruit that had fallen from the trees. After gathering up enough fruits to make a salad, they mixed all of them together and presented them before the bucket. The bucket began sniffing the food and inspecting it for germs. After realizing that there were no germs, the Bucket gave Zync an unsatisfied stare and stated a complaint, his arms folded in discontentment.
“Ahem! You two gnomes of Sploot really know how to get on a bucket’s bad side don’t you? In all of this glorious Sploot kingdom, I have never seen gnomes as repulsive as you. You forgot a key ingrediant. Although I was pleased to see that there were no germs in this fine dish, I did notice one thing. There are no worms in this salad. I cannot eat fruit salad without at least twelve mystical moonworms to sing for me! FETCH THEM AT ONCE!!!!” thundered the bucket as if it were a bolt of lightning. Zync and Twoodleberry darted off into the woods, searching out every nook and cranny hoping to find moonworms. They finally decided to draw themselves a shovel and dig for the moonworms. They found some, and brought back the moonworms. The bucket seemed grateful.
“THANK YOU SO MUCH DEAREST GNOMES! You two are the most wonderful creatures to have ever graced the ground of this wonderful Sploot Kingdom, and I’m most pleased that you were able to accumulate some song singing moonworms for
my food. Of course, I won’t be eating them if that’s what you were thinking. They are going to play piano for me, and…what’s this? You two did not bring a piano!!! Moonworms are expert piano players by nature, and I always like to listen to piano music when I eat. WHERE IS MY PIANO????” asked the bucket as it leaped into the air and landed with a crashing sound loud enough to cause an earthquake. “And why have you not yet made use of the PEN?!” The sound frightened the poor little misunderstood moonworms and they slithered away into the distance. Zync and Twoodleberry drew a piano with the pen and fetched up the moonworms instantly.
“Thank you. Now play, moonworms, play!” commanded the bucket. The moonworms began playing when suddenly the bucket thundered yet again.
“I NEED CHOPSTICKS! I CANNOT EAT WITHOUT CHOPSTICKS!” shouted the persnickety and cranky bucket. The moonworms began playing chopsticks on the piano, and Zync and Twoodleberry were relieved to realize that this was all he meant. But the bucket had one last request out of Zync and his sister.
“Now I need you two gnomes to put that gigantic magic pen to work by painting me a napkin!” he shouted. So Zync used his new-found strength given to him by a zooshy fruit, and thankfully was able to lift up the pen and draw a napkin for him. But, the ink was wet and drippy and it spilled all over the bucket’s food. When the bucket ate his food, he was filled to the brim with ink again. The bucket was enraged, and he leaped into the air and back onto the ground only to spill all the ink and in-turn he flooded the entire Sploot Kingdom. Zync then looked into his magic spell book to try to find a way
to reverse the effects.


The End

One hot summer day in the Sploot Kingdom, after a long day’s work of note delivering, the young fox cub royal messenger named Jumple began fulfilling his evening routine of sitting under a tall tree by a small pond in a shady area of Wooshy Woods, and writing his fictional comic book series, “The Adventures of Pirate Pete Peanut Brittle and his Amazing Pirate Peanut Brittle Powers”. The star of Jumple’s comic was in fact a talking anthropormorphic humanoid piece of peanut brittle with a pirate costume, most of Jumple’s friends (except Prophet Snudd) did not find this concept very appealing, but it meant quite a bit to Jumple considering the fact that one of the Sploot Kingdom’s earliest recorded prophecies suggested a creature similar to Jumple’s hero. With help from his parents, Jumple had even assembled a cookbook featuring his character that contained all the different recipes of the Sploot Kingdom…with a peanut brittle twist. Sadly however, Jumple was practically the only resident of the Sploot Kingdom that had even the slightest craving for peanut brittle, and the only use the cookbook’s recipes could serve him was to ward off malevolant dragons (which were allergic to peanut prittle) and little did he know that it was that very evening that his love of peanut brittle would save his life, and the life of one of his favorite female aquaintences, the tall spunky sassy royal “cat sorceress” of the Sploot Kingdom, Bloomeelia who would occasionally and mysteriously drop by out of nowhere. Jumple occasionally got her attention by climbing tall trees, pretending to be in danger, or even by immitating Prophet Snudd. Sadly, Jumple only rarely spent his sun drenched evenings sitting and cracking jokes with Bloomeelia, and instead spent them performing absurd attempts to get her attention. He knew he’d be dragged home by either his parents or his older sister Jezella if he stayed at
his favorite reclining spot TOO long, so finally when Bloomeelia walked by, tossing her long radiant purple hair behind her, he held his breath for ten seconds, and decided upon something. He was going to say hello.
“Hey there!” said Jumple, clearing his throat nervously.
“Uhh..Hi Jumple! ” responded Bloomeelia. “I’m feeling kinda distraught. Some cretins just never learn, an evil wizard stole my backpack!!!” said Bloomeelia.
“COOL! That’s REALLY awesome! I’d be more than happy to help you get it back Bloomeelia!! Honestly, I’ve been practicing martial arts, I’ll show those evil wizards who’s boss!” said Jumple showing her a demonstration.
“But there’s no telling where he is!! Those evil wizards have a way of hiding, but I have a feeling he’s at Zasher’s fortress on top of Mt. Maleficent, that’s where most of those evil wizard type folks hang out! I can at least go one day without it though!! So what have you been doing here Bushy Tail?? Talking to dragons and elves?” asked Bloomeelia.
“Nothing of particular interest, really. Just sitting here, eating peanut brittle, and writing comics!” said Jumple.
“Really? Well what I do lately when I’ve got nothing better to do is revise my prize winning poem, The ArtiChokes of Avalon! Oh, and I also practice the hula! But never mind that, I think I’ll teach you how to make a four dimensional translucent bubble shield! Or I could show you some of my magic crystals, that is if you wanna hang around with me!” said Bloomeelia.
“Ra..ra…really? But don’t you have to report that stolen item to the Sploot coppers?” asked Jumple.
“Naaah…I’ve got some time to squish, and I just hated how bored and lonely you looked, so, ya know what??? I think I’ll just sit here, and watch those tastey fish with ya!” said Bloomeelia sitting down on a tree stump next to Jumple. Jumple suddenly felt extremely thrilled and happy for no apparent reason.
“You know what? I LOVE TREE STUMPS!!!” shouted Jumple at the top of his voice. Jumple leaped up into the air like a flying sugar-fueled squirrel and crashed down onto the tree stump splitting it in half, sending Bloomeelia straight into the pond water.
“EEEEEEEEEK! What was that all about? For all I knew it was a hurricane, and now I’m all soaking wet, and my green jumpsuit is ruined, you crazy senseless cretin!” shouted Bloomeelia, who was now extremely angry.
“Well you’re the one who sat on the treestump, you loonatic! It can’t support both of us, as you fully know!!! Ever studied physics?” yelled Jumple, who was now angry at Bloomeelia for the first time in his life.
“NO!!!” shouted Bloomeelia.
‘Well neither have I!” responded Jumple, who now realized he hadn’t been making sense.
“I was going to show you my magic crystal collection, some oracles, and even my Runes of Ridiculousness, but I guess all you wanted to do was pull a big prank on me!!! Don’t expect to see me around here ever again!” said Bloomeelia walking off.
“Wait, where are you going?” asked Jumple.
“To Zasher’s Castle!!! And if I never see you again it’ll be too soon, cretin!” shouted Bloomeelia.
“But Zasher’s Castle is EXTREMELY dangerous!!! Wouldn’t you need protection
From all those monsters and villains, fair damsel?” asked Jumple.
“Plicker platter, I’ll send those cretins to kingdom come, I’m fine on my own! Hmph! If you apologize, I’d mildly consider it, but I don’t think so, noooooo siree!!! Not on a stack of fishing bait catalogs!” said Bloomeelia.
“I’m sorry I accidentally sent you into that puddle! Here’s a flower!” said Jumple picking the nearest flower.
“That’s a GREEN FLOWER! I LOVE THE COLOR GREEN!!! A greeen flower,
aaah, a green flower, the next best thing since peanut brittle! Wait, I don’t even like peanut brittle!” said Bloomeelia noticing her slip of the tongue.
“Aha, you said that because you know I like peanut brittle, didn’t you? You must secretly admire me, right? HAHA! I knew it. Care to see my comic book?” asked Jumple.
“It’s about peanut brittle…you really are obsessed aren’t you?” said Bloomeelia glancing over the comic book.
“Well..don’t tell anyone, even though everyone knows it by now! Hey, there’s Mt. Maleficent! Let’s just both go to Zasher’s castle, what the heck!! We might even get
killed, but who cares!!” said Jumple.
“Look at that big blue bird up there flying over us!” said Bloomeelia.
“That’s a big blue bird, alright! I just think big blue birds are the coolest things!” said Jumple.
“I’ll use my magic wand to warp us inside the castle, since I’m not really partial to mountain climbing!” said Bloomeelia. Within an instant they were warped…to Zasher’s Castle Throne Room. There was Zasher sitting in his throne, and standing on the red carpeted floor was Vale, with Bloomeelia’s backpack.
“Hand over my girlfriend’s backpack!!!” yelled Jumple. Zasher and Vale laughed.
“The stupidity of the youth, that little fox thinks he has a girlfriend just because he’s making a fool out of himself trying to be real protective over that stupid sorceress! Vale, SEIZE HIM!!! DESTROY THESE INSIGNIFICANT MORONS! They’re no use to us!” shouted Zasher. Bloomeelia did a freeze spell over Vale, and Jumple picked up the frozen lizard wizard and tossed him clear off to the other end of the hallway.
“Now you’re gonna see me go bezerk like never before!!! YOU ROTTEN LITTLE
REBELS! Here’s what I have to say to you, make me a feast before I go to bed, you get yer stupid backpack back, otherwise, you’ll both BE my feast!! GOT IT?” asked Zasher. Jumple swallowed air and gulped nervously.
“Got it, kingly and tyranical one!” said Jumple.
“Now get your aprons on!!!! GUARDS, DRESS THESE TWO PROPERLY!” said Zasher. Jumple and Bloomeelia both had to wear pink aprons and orange chef hats with flowers on them as a lame attempt to humiliate them. As they walked sadly to the royal
kitchen, Jumple suddenly had a brilliant idea.
“DO EVIL KINGS LIKE FALOOSHIAN FISH STICKS WITH ALPHREDO SAUCE AND VINEGAR?” asked Bloomeelia who was panicking.
“Uhh..I don’t think so. I still have my COOKBOOK with me!!! Bloomeelia dear, did you know that evil dragons have extreme allergic reactions to peanut brittle? We’ll make peanut brittle be our little secret ingrediant, and then that big bad bully Zasher won’t know what hit him!” said Jumple. After mixing up the required ingrediants, they came up with Pecan Pie Ala Peanut, a dish fit for a king. Jumple and Bloomeelia raced into the kitchen to present their masterpiece.
“This better be good!” said Zasher. The instant Zasher took a bite, fireballs began spewing out of his mouth and nostrils like never before. Zasher’s head began to swell, and suddenly his entire body turned into a peanut brittle statue, and the entire castle turned to peanut brittle.
“And now, you can take your seat next to the new king of the dragon kingdom!” said Jumple jokingly.
“Well, I got my backpack back. I don’t think we’re ready for that…yet!” said Bloomeelia as she warped herself out of the castle. Jumple’s eyes were starstruck, and he fainted onto the floor with a dazed look. Zasher recovered from his allergic state, however, which caused Jumple to recover from his funk, and for his life all the way back home, as he was chased by Zasher, saying latin spoonerisms about chinese checkers
the entire way back.

Um, is this really art?

Yes. Stories count as art.

But I REALLY don't like these. You don't describe the characters or settings, it's near impossible to tell what's going on, and it's WAY too random and the names are...Well...Odd.