This is the funniest thing I've read all week!

schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP

Sam: what is flash like from your PoV as a proper programmer?
Pete: flash is like if java, C# and visual basic had a threesome
Pete: and did not use protection

<Lonesy> I was at the Badkarma fields when thunder strikes less than 50 feet from me
<Lonesy> God's way of saying "I see what you did there"

Adun|Oblivion> "The ejaculation of a dolphin carries so much force with it, that it could decapitate you."
<ChaosSmurf> You know
<ChaosSmurf> This is why Dolphins are ALWAYS happy
<ChaosSmurf> They're just sitting there going "Yeah, *****es, I can decapitate you with my sperm"

<Sword_Saint> God, I hate conspiracy theorists
<Sword_Saint> I almost wish they were right
<Sword_Saint> so the government would abduct and kill them
<Sword_Saint> and shut them the **** up

cromar: If there is a God, why does he/she allow disasters like earthquakes and Microsoft?
dvice_null: Are you comparing a disaster that causes billions of dollars financial losses and thousands of people to lose their home every year, to a natural movement of tectonic plates? That's low.

This post has been edited by Sgt. Teddy on Jul 2 2007, 08:53 PM

<Flash> you can start it by typing alt+F4
<Digimon> wot does that do
<FanBoy> and a little window will pop up
<FanBoy> its a secret
*** Digimon has quit
<FanBoy> it is an IQ test


lol

[n] Join [sam]-[sam@sam.name] has joined #0secadmin
<m0zzie> uhh sam, who are you and who gave you the key?
<sam> i am sam and i didnt need a key :-)
<m0zzie> hmm.. this is a private channel, please **** off. :)
[n] Mode [m0zzie]-[+b *!*sam@sam.name]
<lynx> m0z, meet sam, the server admin :/
<m0zzie> oh ****.
[n] Mode [m0zzie]-[-b *!*sam@sam.name]
<m0zzie> me love you long time? :>


< 12@Great_Teacher_Musashi > damn
<@Great_Teacher_Musashi > myspacebardoesn'twork
<13@Nemian|Stuff > haha
<@Great_Teacher_Musashi > crap
<@Great_Teacher_Musashi > Ican'tentercommands
<@Nemian|Stuff > wth happened to your kb?
<@CrimsonAngel|AtLibrary > heh
<@Great_Teacher_Musashi > spilledsodaonit
<@CrimsonAngel|AtLibrary > l o o k i c a n u s e s p a c e s w e e e e e e = )
*** CrimsonAngel|AtLibrary was kicked by Great_Teacher_Musashi ( don'ttauntmeIstillhaveright-click )( —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— )

This post has been edited by Grant on Jul 11 2007, 10:24 PM

Why did I not read this topic before?

This topic deserves pin.

This is the most epic thread in WEEKS!

<Alwyn Aldarion> X are you deaf or what ?
<MegamanX2K> Yes. Yes, I am deaf. This makes it IMPOSSIBLE for me to read anything written on screen, because I have trained a parrot to read whatever is on my screen so I can browse the web while at the same time spying on the cute girl next door while she's changing AND her equally cute sister who is also changing AT THE SAME TIME. So, yes, I was unable to hear your enlightening post. I apologize.


<NeoMatriX> Two friends, /exit and /quit sitting in the garden, /exit goes away,who is still there??


<bos> how many 1/8 cups are in 1 cup
<infox> 8?
<bos> ;[ thats what i thought but i wasnt sure


<Rose> ahaha...I remember this one time at a tattoo parlour
<Rose> and this girl wanted a tattoo on her lower back
<Rose> and she told the artist "yeah, I want something symbolic"
<Rose> so I wrote "Exit only" in chinese

<AgentSmith> It seems you have been leading two lives, Mr. Anderson. In one life, you are Robert Anderson, assistant cook at a Jack in the Box in Mesquite....in the other...you go by the chat alias "Randerson"...spreading homosexual propoganda, lying, and being a generally immature pest...
<AgentSmith> One of these...has a future.
<Randerson> LMAO OMFG where's the phone, I have to tell Dean about this
<AgentSmith> How can you use the phone when you cannot...speak?
*** AgentSmith sets mode: +m

I'm shocked you guys haven't found bash.org ever.
That being said, there's a reason this is the most popular of the whole bunch:

I heard of it a while ago; I just never checked it out until now. :<

<@Terror> "It's easy to forget what a sin is in the middle of a battlefield."
<@cky> opposite over hypotenuse
<@cky> dip****

I laughed. Am I a nerd?

damn it we're running out of good ones

QUICK GUYS

<Wampa> Screw the little children of the world
<Falcon24> ok
<ROFISH> he didn't mean that literally falc

<Tizitchy> you know what sucks
<Tizitchy> I was staring at this girls ass in the mall while waiting in line
<Tizitchy> she was by a trash can
<Tizitchy> and this guy was behind me
<Tizitchy> said "Get a good view?"
<Tizitchy> i was laughing and said "yeah"
<Tizitchy> he goes "That's my daughter"

This post has been edited by Lemmy on Jul 2 2007, 11:15 PM

This one's a double-edged sword. Hilarious, but after reading it there's no going back. Also very long.

<Fulgore> whats the complement to a 43 degree angle?
<sparks> My you're looking "acute" today
<Fulgore> **** you

Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude

shshdfgh I am definately going to do that

aklsdhgalksdg

old site to me :)
<3

edit: sorry if I missed any filter bypassings in those. I tried to get them all.

This post has been edited by 123James on Jul 3 2007, 07:00 AM