This is the funniest thing I've read all week!

<_kr4m3r> so many ****ing criminals, its bull****
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

awesome.

<apoptygma> we have a jedi council at our smurfing school
<apoptygma> how gay is that?!?
<apoptygma> i actually had a kid try that wavy hand thing on me


<Eggo> invent a new kind of tolet paper, reusible or edible


[@smcn] like #bearcave. you wouldn't expect it to be a gay channel. YOU WOULD EXPECT IT TO BE A CHANNEL ABOUT BEARS WOULDN'T YOU


(Theseus-) guilty says my computer realizes that it's running a celeron and tries to commit suicide


<DKMA> In seventh grade I was forced to take the SAT as this test thing,, long ago. I scored higher than the state average
<DKMA> I live in Texas though,, so it doesn't say much =)
<X15> there are ppl in texas?

<Guilty> Nov 27 23:45:02 Box1 MormonGuard[20721]: Mormons be tryin' to break into y0 system!
<Guilty> Thank god for you MormonGuard

<FyNXeR> Pardon my spelling... but I'm from Sweden
<sumbody> pardon my accent, i am from southeast asia
<DrMonkey> pardon my shotgun, i'm from west virginia

<noss> fap in a thunder storm, it will make you feel like Thor

type I've upped my ram, now up yours in google search, there's a shirt that says that

Man that was the best HIV story ever. And my friends and I make up lots of them. I saved this on Notepad.

Swear warning, but yes, that is hilarious.


A ton of these are laugh-out-loud-worthy.

NeoNess: My cell phone rang in the church and everyone looked at me.
I answered it and someone told me to turn it off.
I told them it was god and he was furiously angered at them, and he would smite them with his holy fist.
I proceeded to scream "Repent!" at the top of my voice.
long story short, I dont have to go to church anymore

<wolfram_> I remember my dad's old band's basist making a great move on a wedding gig on a church.
<wolfram_> They just sat there behind the altar, waiting for the bride to come in.
<wolfram_> So the basist sees the bride and whispers to the guitarist: "I've screwed that *****"
<wolfram_> With the microphone on in between.

haha raccoon great







<Tim3WorX> somtimes
<Tim3WorX> when i'm naked
<Tim3WorX> and alone
<j4yj0hn> dont finish that sentence

I shouldn't laugh, but I am.

Yesterday I was at a Laundrymat and this mom came in carrying her kids, to BRATTY little girls. Quotes from them:

Yeah. They were ****s.

<DemonEater> wtf
<DemonEater> ESPN is showing 2003 national jump rope championship
<DemonEater> who the hell watches jump rope competiti--- ooh bouncy

<+shiachan> i am having the worse day for the past 3 years
<+shiachan> someone console me :/
* Edible hits shiachan with a gamecube.

http://bash.org/?244545

slight sexual warning

<MasterG> .....................................................................
..................................
<judas> where's pacman when you need him?

Scud: The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you
Scud: And then it hit me

<drunker> whats's the microsoft.com site

http://bash.org/?287414

<Malagmyr> This linguistics professor was lecturing the class.
<Malagmyr> "In English," he explained, "a double negative forms a positive. In some languages, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative."
<Malagmyr> "However," the professor continued, "there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative."
<Malagmyr> Immediately, a voice from the back of the room piped up: "Yeah..... right...."

random girl: hey!
me: ...hi?
me: who is this?
random girl: Jessica, I saw u on myspace
random girl: ur hot
me: thanks
random girl: np
me: this girl keeps bugging me, but I don't want to talk to her
me: what should I do?
random girl: make up sum excuse, like ur mom is kickin u off or sumthing
me: oh alright
me: I have to go
me: my mom is kicking me off
me: bye

<KaiserPanda> spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can
<KaiserPanda> clings to walls, licks his balls
<KaiserPanda> but not at the same time or else he faaaaalls!