D-WARS, Movie Munchie #24| 102

THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS. BUT LIKE YOU WERE GOING TO SEE THE MOVIE ANYWAY.


Oh Dragon Wars, where would we be without you. I went into this movie with no expectations what so ever. The trailer looked bad. The director is bad. The actors are no names. We KNEW it was going to be bad. We just didn't know it was going to be so bad it was good.
The plot starts out in Ancient China or someplace like that. A girl is born to a family which must sacrifice her on her 19th birthday in order to keep the dragons away from the village. Of course this does not happen, as she has fallen in love. So the village is attacked by elephant/bear type animals with rocket launchers in only what can be described as a lord of the rings rip off. Of course the only way to escape is suicide, which for some reason makes more sense then giving yourself up.
Anyway flash forward to the current day in LA. Apparently the time is set for another Dragon fest, and the reincarnation of the girl must sacrifice herself again. Only this time she is white, and lives in LA. Insert some horrible predicable plot points that make no sense here. Then be sure to add in the horrible CGI that looks like something a ten year old could make. (It's so bad that every scene can only last an average of seven seconds) I guess they thought that might mean you will miss how bad the CGI is. But don't forget to add the stunts that happen but then change to fit the next scene.

Or the 1970's clothes the main character seems to love to wear. (Pictured above) There is only one dragon until the last 5 mins of the movie. Plus that one dragon has no arms or legs. Then add in the fact that the ending leaves the main character stuck in hell...alone.
So let's recap. The plot makes no sense. The actors suck. The CGI sucks. The clothes suck. The movie sucks right? Wrong. The movie is so bad that...it's good. I had a blast watching how not to make a movie. Cracking jokes left and right with my friends. I can't say I've had a better time in a movie theatre this year. So I have to give it something.

Please go see this movie. Just so we can discuss it.

Okay I have to see this then.

I actually almost ended up seeing this but I saw 3:10 To Yuma instead. To be entirely honest, I think I would have been more entertained watching D-Wars.

I thought the effects were pretty neat, but I agree with you saying everything else was terrible.

This movie is just sdfsdfsd

It's so terrible that the whole time my friends and I were just voicing over the characters.

Oh to hell with you that movie was awesome.

I'm not going to see it just to spite Medaforcer.

There is nothing about D-wars that looks worth seeing, and it's in tons of theaters.

There's so much that looks good in Across the Universe and you can't find that damn movie anywhere

It's playing at the nearest theater to me, so I might go Friday night and revi--

oh wait, I'm gonna be out-of-state that night. Nevermind.

Sadly