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What Do You Think Of This Review?

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Parakarry

Posted on Oct 25 2004, 08:36 PM

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http://www.gameinformer.com/NR/exeres/812E...760C349F47D.htm

I don't know whether to laugh or be disturbed.

QUOTE

We all have those undesirable yet mandatory moments in our lives. Actors have to sit in the makeup chair for an hour before a shoot. Plumbers have to plunge clogged toilets. Politicians have to deal with other politicians. As a video game journalist, my cross to bear is having to play Mario Party sequel after Mario Party sequel. At least this time, I get to try to warn you against doing the same thing. Don’t play this game.

Even at its most basic level, Mario Party is flawed. Yes, you play minigames against the other players. However, the reward for winning or consequence for losing is nil. If I win, I get a handful of coins. If I lose, someone else gets those coins. The thing is, coins as a whole don’t mean a darn thing in the game – it’s stars that you’re really after. Strange then that 90% of the game deals with coins changing hands, and stars are treated as an afterthought. Of course, I spent 90% of my time with Mario Party 5 riddled with thoughts that I need a raise for having to play this clump of dung. Again, don’t play this game.

At least some of the minigames, even without any motivation to win them, are passable. It’s doubtlessly harder to make quick gaming scenarios for multiple users than it is to craft single-player thrills like Wario Ware’s. Many are unimaginative, and you’ll be repeating a few of them even if you only play through once, but they are by far the best part of this title. I think the most creativity went into those games where it’s one player against everyone else. If this series became Mario Minigame – without any of the slow, tedious, painful board game elements – it wouldn’t be quite as rancid, though it would still stink. But, as is, you shouldn’t play this game.

Any semblance of strategy will eventually fail you – sooner rather than later. Basically, the rules are rubbish. This is because there are so many variables that alter the course of the game at the drop of a hat. Coins get redistributed, the star moves to another part of the board, and any power-ups you may collect are easily swiped from your hands. Of course, the best strategy is to not play this game.

Like Pavlov’s dogs, I may have become subconsciously ingrained to wince every time I play Mario Party. However, I need only see the looks of abject horror on the faces of any newbies playing the game with me (i.e. Jeremy and Adam) for the first time to know this is universal. The only laughs come from knowing your friends are suffering the same punishment as you are. They have to see the same save screen after every turn. They have to deal with the homestretch taking even longer than the early portion of the game. They’re cursing this to anyone within earshot, just like you.

Don’t play this game. Seriously. Maybe then, Nintendo will get the message, and this scourge of software will disappear from existence once and for all. You make all the difference. You vote with your wallet. Just say no to Mario Party. Thank you.

This post has been edited by Parakarry on Oct 25 2004, 08:37 PM

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123James	Posted on Oct 25 2004, 08:47 PM
Do you believe in ghosts? Group: Members Posts: 9034 Member No.: 431 Joined: 15-May 04 Status: (0d)	Man, the guy who wrote this review must not have very good hand eye coordination. -------------------- It's Signature, Folks!! Reference Pic: here http://123james.deviantart.com

Rage	Posted on Oct 25 2004, 08:57 PM
Phillip Banks Group: Members Posts: 20961 Member No.: 13 Joined: 13-October 03 Status: (0d)	You all should know that GI depises Mario Party. Hell I don't like the series much myself. :X -------------------- CHOOSE YOUR DESTINY half-naked dragon chick queen of the castle queen of the castle a lost cause chicks galore

Greliz	Posted on Oct 25 2004, 09:02 PM
I'LL KILL L AND WIN THE WACKY RACES Group: Members Posts: 5860 Member No.: 281 Joined: 7-February 04 Status: (0d)	Eh, I think they make for a decent game against friends, they're just not worth 50 bucks. -------------------- HA HA! I'm using the ~~Deathnote!~~ INTARNET!

Duckboy	Posted on Oct 25 2004, 09:03 PM
Colonel... What is this duck thing? Group: Banned Posts: 38524 Member No.: 197 Joined: 29-December 03 Status: (71582609m)	The guy's a f*ing fantastic writer. This post has been edited by Duckboy** on Oct 25 2004, 09:03 PM

Parakarry	Posted on Oct 25 2004, 09:13 PM
Mail call! Group: Site Staff Posts: 30359 Member No.: 34 Joined: 13-October 03 Status: (0d)	You don't think, that as a professional reviewer, that's a little biased toward Mario Party? (they've had run-ons with Mario Party in the past) -------------------- DIAMOND FRIEND CODE: 2320 2606 8172

Toni

Posted on Oct 25 2004, 09:15 PM

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QUOTE

They have to see the same save screen after every turn.

Strange how it dídn't occur to him that you can turn off this feature (at least in part 4 you could).

QUOTE

CONCEPT:
Once again, enough people bought the last Mario Party for Nintendo to justify a sequel. Thanks a lot, geniuses!

Funny how he mocks the intelligence of other people, yet he can't grasp the concept that the concept section should explain the concept of the game unless I'm totally mistaken.

QUOTE

GRAPHICS:
It’s a board game. What do you want?

Once again he shows his great genius by explaining how the graphics look and if they improved from the last game... oh no, infact, he didn't.

Someone should really review his reviews. I'd give him 0/5 points.

This post has been edited by Toni on Oct 25 2004, 09:16 PM

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Duckboy

Posted on Oct 25 2004, 09:26 PM

Colonel... What is this duck thing?
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QUOTE (Parakarry @ Oct 25 2004, 09:13 PM)

You don't think, that as a professional reviewer, that's a little biased toward Mario Party? (they've had run-ons with Mario Party in the past)

Not really. So the guy doesn't like mario party or its series? It's just a review dude, it's not a big deal.

And regardless of how biased he is toward a series that undoubtably has gone down hill sequel after neverending sequel, he is still an AMAZING writer. Look at this line:

QUOTE

Like Pavlov’s dogs, I may have become subconsciously ingrained to wince every time I play Mario Party.

Awesome.

Toni

Posted on Oct 25 2004, 09:49 PM

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Yeah, so he knows how to make his sentences look good. But what did he actually say? IMHO, it was hardly anything more than "This game sucks! Don't play it!"

Oh, what a wonderful reviewer he is...

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BubbleMan	Posted on Oct 25 2004, 10:31 PM
aka Aku Group: Members Posts: 18507 Member No.: 260 Joined: 27-January 04 Status: (0d)	I think the Mario Party series went to hell with Mario Party 4. --------------------

Greliz	Posted on Oct 25 2004, 10:35 PM
I'LL KILL L AND WIN THE WACKY RACES Group: Members Posts: 5860 Member No.: 281 Joined: 7-February 04 Status: (0d)	Game Informer is known for hating Mario Party with a passion only rivaled by their hatred of the Jewish. YES THEY'RE NAZIS. -------------------- HA HA! I'm using the ~~Deathnote!~~ INTARNET!

AquaMan

Posted on Oct 25 2004, 10:37 PM

Ernie bought the lemons from MY store
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QUOTE (Toni @ Oct 26 2004, 02:49 AM)

Yeah, so he knows how to make his sentences look good. But what did he actually say? IMHO, it was hardly anything more than "This game sucks! Don't play it!"

Oh, what a wonderful reviewer he is...

I give Toni's review of a review a reviewish 2599/2600!

Sequels can really get dogged by reviews. Every original Megaman game actually had it's major differences, and yet people constantly say that they're the same. I say just play it at a party, see if you all have a good time, and base it off of that. Now, to invent the party-o meter...

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Tei Sama	Posted on Oct 25 2004, 10:53 PM
I KNOW, ROB! Group: Members Posts: 455 Member No.: 628 Joined: 4-October 04 Status: (0d)	Asking Game Informer to review a game is like going to a Doctor and telling you one of your testicles is cancerous and needs to be removed, then going through the surgery without anesthesia while getting kicked in the other testicle, only to find that the surgeons made a mistake and need to take the other one off anyway. And whenever Game Informer reviews a game after this fact, the doctor just shows you the video footage from diagnosis to botched-up surgery in surround-sound on a big-screen tv with built in subwoofers. This post has been edited by Tei Sama on Oct 25 2004, 10:55 PM -------------------- "We are morally obligated to enjoy this." --623 (Mutsumi) "He was a stubborn foe...but I'm CRAZY!! So I won." --Leon Powalski

Quicky	Posted on Oct 25 2004, 11:33 PM
a weed in glaber's garden Group: Members Posts: 12957 Member No.: 7 Joined: 13-October 03 Status: (0d)	I don't see what's so wrong about his review, is it because it's Mario and not Big Rigs or something? -------------------- the only good userbar on earth:

Duckboy	Posted on Oct 26 2004, 10:03 AM
Colonel... What is this duck thing? Group: Banned Posts: 38524 Member No.: 197 Joined: 29-December 03 Status: (71582609m)	It's because no one here, specially PK, can take it when a mario game gets a bad review.

Greliz	Posted on Oct 26 2004, 11:15 AM
I'LL KILL L AND WIN THE WACKY RACES Group: Members Posts: 5860 Member No.: 281 Joined: 7-February 04 Status: (0d)	I agree that Mario Party isn't that good, but Game Informer is so biased against it that I don't view them as being a very credible review source. -------------------- HA HA! I'm using the ~~Deathnote!~~ INTARNET!

Fishlip Toikkanen	Posted on Oct 26 2004, 11:28 AM
Standard Member Group: Members Posts: 5360 Member No.: 218 Joined: 4-January 04 Status: (0d)	This is best review in world.

Eno the Red Guy	Posted on Oct 26 2004, 11:28 AM
god i'm bored Group: Members Posts: 12157 Member No.: 51 Joined: 13-October 03 Status: (0d)	I just don't like the way this guy says you're an idiot if you don't share his opinion. But no, the only way to be funny and witty is to call everyone who might like this thing an idiot and make it out as if they know best. I don't believe if someone likes a game it is a matter of intelligence, more one of taste. As for Mario Party, the series is getting way too rehashed, methinks. The first one was good, but come on! Time for a change, Nintendo. This post has been edited by Eno the Red Guy on Oct 26 2004, 11:29 AM --------------------

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