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Bash.org quotes thread, b/c old one died, & bash.org is amazing

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Parakarry

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:21 PM

Mail call!
[S]

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Post ones you love here. But if they're not safe, just link them and say so.

http://bash.org/?182816

QUOTE

<pixistix> I like sending out messages in a bottle.
<pixistix> But I'm creative.
<pixistix> "I have been shipwrecked at sea, while bringing an important message."
<pixistix> "Do not, under any circumstances, allow President Kennedy to go to Dallas"

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Comrade Kesha	Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:22 PM
Standard Member Group: Members Posts: 4733 Member No.: 1789 Joined: 7-January 06 Status: (0d)	OoooOOOOOOoooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooooOOOOOOOOOOh I like this thread. I'll post some later.

Neopolis

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:25 PM

Abandon ship!
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QUOTE

<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you **** on the floor, and you can hear it fall but you have no idea where it actually landed, and spend like 5 minutes looking for it
<peng> ...
<peng> what?
<VolteFace`> oh ****
<VolteFace`> don't you hate it when you DROP ****

QUOTE

<mage> what should I give sister for unzipping?
<Kevyn> Um. Ten bucks?
<mage> no I mean like, WinZip?

QUOTE

<Mendo> lmao there's a wicked lookign spider on my monitor and if i move the mouse around he chases after it
<spitfire> haha mendo
<spitfire> take a screen shot
<spitfire> wait
<spitfire> that made no sense

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Neopolis is preparing for the incoming apocalypse
(And a drawing reference.)

PSI Guy	Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:28 PM
I HAVE HAD THIS AVATAR FOR EONS Group: Members Posts: 3040 Member No.: 3208 Joined: 20-January 07 Status: (0d)	Jakefeb3: do you know a turtles only weakness? AvatarOfSolusek: no AvatarOfSolusek: well AvatarOfSolusek: thier slowness Jakefeb3: there weakness is they cant roll over when they are on their backs AvatarOfSolusek: lol Jakefeb3: now i have a plan Jakefeb3: if i duck tape 2 turtles together they are unstoppable Hahaha! This site is quite humerous. But some of it is quite unsafe. Very course langauge ahead. -------------------- !

rtsmarty

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:36 PM

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I was just reading bash last night actually.

QUOTE

<macks> YEAH DUDE I'M SO GANGSTA I HOLD MY LAPTOP SIDEWAYS WHEN I POST FLAMES

QUOTE

<royan> Soemone bluetooth'd me a picture titles Jesus.jpg the other day. When I tried to exit the message reader, it said: Jesus not saved. Save now?
<royan> I have God's cellphone.

QUOTE

<Poyzin> So, something amusing happened to me.
<Kilts> ?
<Poyzin> I clocked out of work today, and the ticket tells me I've worked 13 hours and 37 minutes.
<Poyzin> Of course, presented as 13.37.
<Poyzin> Know what that makes me?

<Kilts> lol really leet?
<Poyzin> ...
<Poyzin> I worked 13 and a half ****ing hours, and TIRED isn't your first guess? God dammit.

QUOTE

wtf9589: should i get the poster with 1 really hot girl or 5 pretty hot girls?
kickassmofo1111: duh get the one with five girls
kickassmofo1111: five **** are better than one
wtf9589: WTF HAVE YOU EVEN SEEN A GIRL???

Parakarry

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:36 PM

Mail call!
[S]

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Posts: 30359
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Joined: 13-October 03

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QUOTE

<acidwar> last night, tony and I decided to stop off on the way to the party to get some beer
<acidwar> we come out of the shop a few minutes later and there's a parking guy writing a ticket
<acidwar> tony goes up to him and asks him what the ticket's for, parking guy explains that the car is parked in a no standing zone
<acidwar> tony starts abusing him and tells him to cram it up his ass, so the guy writes a ticket for abusing him
<Nuzzler> haha
<acidwar> so tony gets up him even more, and every time he says something the guy writes another ticket
<acidwar> 14 tickets later, the guy gives up and walks off
<dendyh0> ...
<acidwar> and we both PISS ourselves laughing as we walk back to tony's car around the corner, leaving some poor ******* with 14 parking fines

<dendyh0> AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<Nuzzler> ROFL!!

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Neopolis

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:39 PM

Abandon ship!
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QUOTE

<skatoni> will some one please help
<`NeXiGeN`> what's yer problem ?
<skatoni> there is a guy hacking into my computer
<`NeXiGeN`> unplug yer modem
<skatoni> how?
<`NeXiGeN`> see all those wires behind your computer box ?
<`NeXiGeN`> ripem all out
*** skatoni has quit IRC (Read error to skatoni[ppp012.rosenet.net]:
Connection reset by peer)

QUOTE

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

QUOTE

UsMc-LiTe: OMFG I JUST GOT A GF!!!!!!!!!
AkIrAgOrN909: Sadly folks, hes talking about the Grandfather sword in Diablo 2.

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Neopolis is preparing for the incoming apocalypse
(And a drawing reference.)

Morshu McPhereson

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:43 PM

Who's got the sweetest disposition?
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QUOTE (Neopolis @ Nov 22 2007, 04:39 PM)

QUOTE

UsMc-LiTe: OMFG I JUST GOT A GF!!!!!!!!!
AkIrAgOrN909: Sadly folks, hes talking about the Grandfather sword in Diablo 2.

Best one so far.

This post has been edited by Mason on Nov 22 2007, 04:43 PM

Subby

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:43 PM

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found this one in search though.

QUOTE

<Mishmashi> yesterday i got bisexual services

This post has been edited by Subby on Nov 22 2007, 04:44 PM

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QUOTE (Nnnkington (MSN))

(00:09): atleast your elbow smells pretty~~~~

Parakarry

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:44 PM

Mail call!
[S]

Group: Site Staff
Posts: 30359
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Joined: 13-October 03

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QUOTE

<TRON> if my calculations are correct SLINKY + ESCULATOR = EVERLASTING FUN

If I could ever get a slinky to work, I'd totally try that.

QUOTE

<frank> can you help me install GTA3?
<knightmare> first, shut down all programs you aren't using
frank has quit IRC. (Quit)
<knightmare> ...

Dude awesome

This post has been edited by Parakarry on Nov 22 2007, 04:45 PM

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Neopolis

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:48 PM

Abandon ship!
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Status: (0d) [--]

QUOTE

<Midnight> Telemarketers are sooo fun to screw with.
<Midnight> Like this one time, I got a call from one obviously trying to get me to change my long distance carrier or some b.s. like that.
<Midnight> The dialogue went something like this:
"May I speak person who is in charge of the phone services in your house?"
"Ummmm...We don't have a phone."
"Well, then what are you talking to me on?"
"A banana?"
<Midnight> I think they hung up after that.

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Neopolis is preparing for the incoming apocalypse
(And a drawing reference.)

Parakarry

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:49 PM

Mail call!
[S]

Group: Site Staff
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Joined: 13-October 03

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QUOTE

<Fooz> In a perfect world... spammers would get caught, go to jail, and share a cell with many men who have enlarged their *****ses, taken Viagra and are looking for a new relationship.

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rtsmarty

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:51 PM

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QUOTE

<RobbiePaul> i really wish the redneck neighbors that moved in next door would feed their children anti-freeze
<Nichole> slip it into some popcicles and serve
<RobbiePaul> "anti" freeze...

Xgoff

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:52 PM

<):|

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QUOTE (Parakarry @ Nov 22 2007, 02:44 PM)

If I could ever get a slinky to work, I'd totally try that.

slight problem is that the escalator's treads are too long so the slinky would eventually end up totally on one stair

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QUOTE

(5:25:58 PM) Mikau: xgoff
(5:26:00 PM) Mikau: guess what
(5:26:04 PM) Xgoff: chicken butt
(5:26:09 PM) Mikau: **** you

Parakarry

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 04:56 PM

Mail call!
[S]

Group: Site Staff
Posts: 30359
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Joined: 13-October 03

Status: (0d) [--]

QUOTE

Yakuza: We get telemarketers all the time calling my house
Yakuza: So one night me and my friends got together and waited for one to call
Yakuza: When one did, I picked it up and was like talking to the guy, giving him that false hope
Yakuza: Then I had my friends ring the doorbell, and I was like oh hold on
Yakuza: I went to the door and had my friends like shout **** like "There he is! Get him!"
Yakuza: And we started popping balloons and had a movie on full blast in the background
Yakuza: And then I let out this gut wrenching scream
Yakuza: I let the line go silent, and the guy on the other end was like "uhh... sir?"
Yakuza: Then my friend ran over and picked up the phone and was like "WHO THE **** IS THIS!?"
Yakuza: I guess he hung up like instantly

Win.

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Subby

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 05:07 PM

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QUOTE

<Chris> nah. I did it twice at the weekend and still have both arms.

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QUOTE (Nnnkington (MSN))

(00:09): atleast your elbow smells pretty~~~~

Jazz

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 05:11 PM

forums.mfgg.net
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QUOTE

<happy> i have problems cooking on the stove, because i run into my room to chat on irc or somehting, and it catches fire

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Jazz

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 05:21 PM

forums.mfgg.net
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QUOTE

<Nerdpants> does any of the orginal characters die - Neil for example
<Pat> its "neo"
<Nerdpants> thats his internet name, his real name is Neil
<Nerdpants> didn't u seen the original!
<Pat> no its "Thomas A. Anderson"
<Nerdpants> really, whoops, does he die??
<Pat> yes
<Pat> neos not gonner star in revolutions, he's dead
<Pat> the oracle is really a guy
<Nerdpants> thats pretty crap - hes the main character
<Pat> Yeah.. Agent Smith turns out to be a good guy. He's actually the one.
<Nerdpants> yeah i know that... i figured it out

QUOTE

<Hamsters> is there any tips that i can pass my writen test?
<shagman> hamsters, learn english

QUOTE

* lastgrrl silently chuckles very loud

QUOTE

t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
BlackAdder> i believe i speak for all of us when i say...
BlackAdder> WRONG *****
BlackAdder> IM SICK OF YOU
BlackAdder> AND YOUR LAME STORIES
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE THINKS YOURE FUNNY
BlackAdder> NOBODY HERE WANTS TO HEAR YOUR STORIES
BlackAdder> IN FACT
BlackAdder> IF YOU DIED RIGHT NOW
BlackAdder> I DON"T THINK NOBODY WOULD CARE
BlackAdder> SO WHAT DO YOU SAY TO THAT ***
*** t0rbad sets mode: +b BlackAdder*!*@*.*
*** BlackAdder has been kicked my t0rbad ( )
t0rbad> so there i was in this hallway right
CRCError> right
heartless> Right.
r3v> right

QUOTE

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

QUOTE

<i8b4uUnderground> d-_-b
<BonyNoMore> how u make that inverted b?
<BonyNoMore> wait
<BonyNoMore> never mind

QUOTE

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

QUOTE

<Th3No0b> Im going to be the next David Hasslefross
<Th3No0b> Im going to kill all the jews and 1 clown
<RageAgainsttheAmish> why the clown
<Th3No0b> See? no one cares about the jews
<RageAgainsttheAmish> lmao

This post has been edited by Jazz on Nov 22 2007, 05:24 PM

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Techokami

Posted: Nov 22 2007, 11:21 PM

Quit Stalin!
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Not from bash.org, but still a humorous quote from #cult

QUOTE

<Virus> nikki
<Virus> how do i op
<Nikki> Ask saz
<Nikki> =(
<Virus> saz
<Virus> how do i op
* Virus has quit (User has been permanently banned from CulTNet (like this))

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