A pun?, 27 more.

I have to come up with fifty original puns for English. Give me puns.

Puns:

1. Denmark's whole economy is bulit on legos.
2. You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.
3. Is coffee your daily grind?
4. There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
5. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head".
6. Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
7. I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
8. A good pun is it's own reword.
9. I was heading to Hooters but my wife said "Don't bother, they have gone bust".
10. I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
11. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
12. A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
13. Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
14. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
15. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
16. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
17. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
18. What's the definition of a will? It's a dead giveaway.
19. The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
20. He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
21. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
22. Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
23. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

27 more.

This post has been edited by Fiddy Three on May 4 2008, 02:14 PM

Tingle likes to tingle with his tingle

Hahaha

I have a uncle, and he is very small. He had to go to jail for burning a house down. When they asked him why he did that, he gave no answer. They asked him the same question every day, but he still gave no answer.

They realized, that how hard they tried, they couldn't break the hobbit.

This post has been edited by Blaze.128 on May 4 2008, 01:33 PM

A good pun is it's own reword

no puns for a day is a real PUNishment

haha

"May I get some tissue?" "Tissue? I barely know you!"

Law and Mordor

-You can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish. Unless of course, you play bass.
-Is coffee your daily grind?
-There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
-Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat says to the other, "You stay here, I'll go on a head".
-Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
-I've been to the dentist several times so I know the drill.
-A pet store had a bird contest with no perches necessary.
-I had some back trouble, but it's all behind me now.
-When Wally discovered he had Lyme disease he was really ticked off.
-I asked somebody a question about pi, their answer was never ending!

This post has been edited by M. Bison on May 4 2008, 01:53 PM

My grandfather died. How? Old age.
No one will get this.

I don't get that

There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.

Super Smash Soda comes in one flavor:
Falcon PUNCH

may i get sum boobage
WE'RE NOT DATING YET!

kinda

I laughed

Real hard

Do they have to be good?

Because you can steal some from the titles of more recent Pokemon episodes.

As long as they're puns it doesn't matter how good. Name some episodes please.

-I was heading to Hooters but my wife said "Don't bother, they have gone bust".
-I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
-A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

You are the greatest.

''I'm selling boomerangs.''
''How's the sale going?''
''Oh, lot's of people bought one, but sadly, we get alot of returns.''

This post has been edited by Blaze.128 on May 4 2008, 02:01 PM