A pun?, 27 more.

That sucks ass.

-A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
-Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
-To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
-When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
-A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
-Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
-What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
-The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
-He didn't tell his mother that he ate some glue. His lips were sealed.
-Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
-Never lie to an x-ray technician. They can see right through you.
-The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

27 more puns please.

It takes two lips to get to the tootsie roll center of a tootsie pop.

GET IT? BECASE YOU SUCK ON IT

-Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
-A circus lion won't eat clowns because they taste funny.
-Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
-Bill Gates took advantage of his Windows of opportunity.
-To many girls the word 'marriage' has a nice ring to it.
-I dropped out of my communism class because of lousy Marx.
-Don't expect to eat something fancy when you're flying because it's plane food.
-An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
-The cost of the space program is astronomical.
-What do you call a melon that's not allowed to get married? Can't elope.
-A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
-The duke and the count had a fight. The duke was down for the count.
-If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.
-A waist is a terrible thing to mind.
-Tennis players don't marry because Love means Nothing to them.
-While stealing from a blood bank, the thief was caught red handed.
-I saw a beaver movie last night, it was the best dam movie I've ever seen.
-A hawk sat atop a church because it was a bird of pray.
-What do you call a arrogant fugitive falling from a building? Condescending.

Smash Bros. Soda comes in one flavor: Falcon Punch