Melty Blood is A-OK

... but you're still hungry.


er i mean


... but it's still really hard.



It's not a button masher per se -- Maxi from Soul Calibur is a button masher -- but it still involves a couple rather novel combination ideas that are not very easy to do on a keyboard. (The weird button setup doesn't help.)

One of the characters has one of those "It'll take you half an hour to learn how to do this move" combinations that I hate so much, but other than that, movelists aren't more than a page or two and most characters have the same input (ie. qcf + attack)



Also, because Melty Blood is so overrated popular they dropped using sensible terms for the sake of using widespread terms, so they use the Numpad to express directions so that any Romantic language speaker (ie. not Asians) will theoretically understand. This works wonderfully if you're using a gamepad but I can rarely make any sense of it when translating it to arrow keys since they don't line up. I need a gamepad to bypass the ****ty keyboard control layout anyway.



The game has developed various mechanisms to help ease the problem of cheap attacks, since you can interrupt almost anything by turning Super Saiyan up DA HEAT, although you will not actually turn Super Saiyan up DA HEAT if you do that. You will still knock the other character across the room in the middle of their combo though so that's cool. To prevent you from spamming Bass aura blast circuit break, it eats ****loads of pimp power magic circuit to do, and that takes forever to build up.

Turning Super Saiyan up DA HEAT when you are not being attacked activates HEAT status. Prepubescents and highschool dropouts everywhere joke about this, except Draku, because it's the only thing they know about animal sexuality and they wish to express their professorial knowledge. Turning up da HEAT when your pimp power magic circuit has maxed out will activate BLOOD HEAT. This is when you are super-Maddox-pissed and your blood is boiling because of people using the same word attacks over and over and you want to piss their eyes out. BLOOD HEAT lasts about as long as a little girl's fart and you need to use it immediately or you'll get nothing and your magic circuit goes back to 0 and everybody will laugh at your little girl farts.

You can also use the very problematic shield system, which I'm told is like Parrying from Street Fighter III, which is really Street Fighter 42, but I've never played that so we'll just say it's like Guard Impact from Soul Calibur since that's pretty close. If you shield properly, the other guy stumbles and you kick his ass. If you miss, the other guy will kick your ass and everybody will laugh at you. If you can time it exactly right while you're SSJ4 BLOOD HEAT you can do your final smiznash arc on his poor ass, which usually is not as effective as just using your regular smiznashes arcs anyway especially since it's so hard to do.



As for playable characters, you can be a pyromaniac, an evil pyromaniac, a housewife, a housewife on a bad hair day, a rocket-powered kitty housewife, a ninja nun who is also Rambo, Female Laika, Female Coughing SARS Laika, Meitantei Conan, YOU DID IT Meitantei Conan, a normal maid, a crazy maid, a robot maid, the normal maid AND the crazy maid at once, a karate loli, a zombie schoolgirl, a girl who makes bombs out of the sun and is clearly drunk, a flaming badass hairy brawler, a dead catgirl, someone who looks like a dead catgirl, Edward Elric on opium, and an eight-foot-tall guy made out of evil.

Most of these characters try to trick you by looking very boring and ordinary, but they have names that nobody knows how to pronounce, which right away lets you know that these people are dangerous.

The most dangerous character of all even has a deceptively easy name -- "Ciel", the ninja nun. One moment she is standing there looking like an RPG side character and the next she is Rambo. Rambo is not an RPG side character. Rambo is pure American justice. Ciel is able to do this because she used to be a vampire and they teach you that in vampire school.

Len also has an easy name, but you could already tell she was deceptive by the fact she is actually dead and a catgirl. In fact, she's actually a cat possessed by a dead girl. It's pretty weird you can still hit her when she is a ghost what a lousy ghost. She isn't quite as amazing as Ciel because her name sounds like Tao Len, who is the creepy British relative of Tao Ren from Shaman King and both of them are lame.

White Len is a new product from Lenscrafters who looks exactly like Len, except she is wearing white. She turns into several thousand pretend Lens whenever she moves, so nobody knows what she is doing at any time. I don't think White Len knows what she is doing at any time either. I think she might actually be wearing glasses, but since she is an enigma, nobody can be sure.

The maids are Hisui, Kohaku, and Mecha-Hisui. The first two are twins who look very similar. To tell them apart, remember that Kohaku is ****ing insane. Her broom is not only rocket powered, but also contains a samurai sword and explosive spheres, and she can extend her apron into a full witch's robe. Hisui prefers the more traditional approach of breaking chairs over people's heads and blowing them up with sandwiches. The chair attack may optionally be done with a football charge.

There's also that loli girl whose name is like Miyako or something. She wears an enormous red jacket which likely serves the same purpose as Rock Lee's leg weights because under it she is wearing daisydukes and an undershirt. I know this because she likes to throw her clothes off whenever you kick somebody's ass, which is very easy to do because Miyako also likes to teleport behind people and elbow them in the ass with enough force to neuter an elephant. Miyako is a typical naive loli with the knowledge of how to murder people. This is a very dangerous combination since Miyako is not old enough to understand that murder is wrong. ... I got her name right?!

Are you guys familiar with an insane laughing blonde man who is obsessed with gardening? Do you remember that dude who tried to resurrect his mom, but instead summoned Lavos, screamed like a pansy, and had to get robot parts attached to keep him alive? What if he didn't get robot parts and he died instead?! If Edward Elric was dead, he would so be a vampire, and if he was a vampire, he would be called Wakka-wakka and attack by transmuting his cape into various shapes and either politely asking you be sliced into ribbons or maniacally screaming about it like a German kid playing Unreal. He would have bipolar disorder, and bimolar disorder because his teeth would keep changing from regular teeth to angry Edward Elric Is Going To Eat Your Baby teeth, wouldn't that be badass!? This is such an amazing idea that the original visual novel team was afraid it would be too exciting for a crappy visual novel and wussed out. The moon and France knew better and made a fighting game, the only good game in the world with Edward Elric in it, just as an excuse to use Wakka-wakka. (Remember the law of equivalent exchange, okay~?)

This post has been edited by Draco Icebane on May 25 2008, 02:17 PM

and yesterday you said it sucked or something similar to that

do warakia next

yesterday i said the character design was ****ing ass, which is still true but the spritework eliminates that probem

The way you described some characters, they sound a bit cliché.

To be honest, Ciel's general idea isn't particularly new. She's basically a typical half-vampire character. The reason Ciel is so badass is because she's Rambo, and most half-vampires don't get to be Rambo.

As for Len, there isn't much you can do with a dead girl character. Most of them attack with will-o-wisps anyway

IIRC They were bells.

also Len's my main

oh neat

i can't use her very well at all mostly because i am not very good at this game :[

she feels awkward for my play style!!

I still rock ass with Warakia, I got a 17 hit combo without using his Blood Heat special, his Katto Inferno [what i like to call it], or his katto move in general. What?

dfkjskg katto cracks me up

especially when i go to use another character and they casually go KATTO!! for one of their attacks i'm like NOOOOO DONT DOOO IIITTTTTT

jeez now I feel like redownloading melty blood despite the fact I will never get to play Multiplayer ever

i would play it with you if i did not know you would use neko-arc who i hate very much

draco can see right through me



arc was my main last time I had melty

why not?

because he'll use neko-arc and nobody loves neko-arc

I love when he wins, blood comes out of his eyes.
I wish you would get a close up of that happening when you do your Blood heat special. :[
Katto katto katto katto KATTO KATTOOOOOO!

Satellite internet makes netplay hell


AND I USE NEKO-ARC.

This post has been edited by Ravan on May 25 2008, 02:25 PM

isn't it weird that satellite works great for **** you don't need it to work great for

Neko-Arc gets pushed around too much.


ah who gives a **** NEKO ARC SUUUUUUUUCKKKKSSSS

i ****ing love juggling maid robots who make very weird noises when recovering