Mario + Luigi Superstar Saga strip

EDIT: Due to the heavy college workload, as well as other activities, I will be unable to continue this strip, at least for quite a while. I will, however, finish my edited Beanbean Map and possibly a spritesheet of K.Buzzy. Sorry...





For more K.Buzzy sprites, follow the following link:
http://archive.mfgg.net/index.php?showtopic=219138

Credits for both strips are in the first strip.

Also, I realize that there was no water running when Mario first went to the house, this will be explained in a future strip though it plays no important part in the strip.

And yes, I am lazy for not showing the result of the explosion. I do not care to work on a background for four hours...

This post has been edited by jdaster64 on Aug 25 2008, 01:20 PM

Nyeh! Sucks to be Luigi!

Could I be a cameo? You really just need to recolor an MLSS Boo.

Good comic anyway.

LOL

Headlines in newspaper: Princess in another castle!
Poor Luigi...

hard to read what Yoshi's saying. Otherwise funny :P

I agree with gorsal on the text, try making the text black. But the comic is good otherwise.

maybe, I plan on cameos of several different forum users.

I know it's a sprite comic but you COULD attempt to put effort into it anyway.

I hate it when people claim "lazy" particularly when working on a sprite comic. There's no excuse for being lazy when working on a comic.

Anyway, I didn't laugh at all when reading this. Overused jokes are overused...

The comic looks good aside from the word boxes. Try using word boxes that point at who's speaking, regardless of color-coordination. If you simply must color-coordinate, use a transition; white word boxes that point, then colored word boxes that point, and then after a while they'll automatically connect the colors and then you can get rid of the pointers.

It's also a very large "strip" if you can call it that.

If anything, just keep chugging away at it and work your hardest; a work-filled comic is far more attractive than a lazy comic.

I guess that white speech bubbles might be better... I'll probably switch.

i probably will take a while to update, since I have a lot of responsibilities now that the school year is underway. I'm also probably not good enough at spriting to make a background for the house either, sorry.

Luigi got PWNT

funny no
action no
effects no
effto turn yes actually try now

Good.

Though some areas seem a bit unrefined, it does show some promise. Sure, it's hard to read half the text. Yes, some more effort could have been put into some areas. But, I can see that you definately have good ideas. For example, the cliff with the "zoomed out" view of the house behind it.

I have a few pieces of advice, some of which have already been stated.


~Try not to be lazy and don't be afraid to put a good amount of time into each part. Sometimes I end up spending upwards of four hours just to make a single prop for a single panel or a single background. When I did the Paper Mario battle spoof in Kirby vs. Shy-Guy, I did each the audience over again for each and every frame, making each on slightly different with little small activities to make it seem more like a real active audience and not a sea of cardboard cutouts. Remember, you want it to look your best. If you get lazy and skimp on some details, people will notice.

~Try to make text as readable as possible. For example, the white text on the starry sky background is very difficult to read at times beacuse of the low contrast with the text. The occasional stars don't help either. If you wanted to keep the starry background and still have the text be white, you could darken the area behind the text. As for text boxes for speech, color cordination works well only up to a point. Some colors (like Yoshi's light green) don't work well with the text. Black text on white is ideal, though you can always add some color to it so long as it does not interfere with the readability. Also, like Zero Kirby said, have the boxes point to the speaker. It helps when there are multiple characters of a similar color next to each other. Naturally, text boxes where the speaker is hidden (not just offscreen) won't have a pointer.

~Being a sprite comic, there will be a bigger focus on writing. If you go to use jokes, make sure they are good and not overdone. If you want to focus on advancing a plot, make sure random cheesy/lame jokes don't throw off the mood. Also, be very careful with inconsistancies and plot holes. When the image of the flooded house is shown, there's no real indication whether it is what he's thinking or a quick jump to a current event. If it was a real event, it would conflict with the house being destroyed. Since it is probably an image Luigi is imagining, it should be denoted somehow, possibly by a fluffy white border around the edges to link it to his other thoughts and show to the reader it is not actually happening. Also, be careful of what could be considered unnatural jumps in logic. For example, Mario, after seeing his house blown up, immediately runs off to check on Peach. Given Mario's roles in the video games, it would be understandable that he would want to save her from danger. However, the reader is not even alerted of her presence until he goes off to check on her. In this case, a single sentence or so could remedy the situation. After seeing his house in ruins, his first thought would naturally be "oh no", followed by "what happened", followed by his best guess as to the cause. In this case, it would be the work of Bowser and/or his minions. A line as simple as "This could be another attack by Bowser!" before "I gotta go check on the princess!" would indicate the thought process and give a reason as to why Peach would need to be checked on at all. When writing, you have to sit back and clear your mind and try to see it how your viewers see it, not knowing any background information or future knowledge, only what they have in front of them.


It's good to see that you are using proper grammar and spelling.



I'd think of more, but I'm rather sleepy at the moment.


I look forward to seeing you improve. Of course, school always comes first.

I doubt yours would be any better then this.

I could apply that to you right now.

Here's the thing about sprite comics (The content).
1) There's always an idiot who doesn't know what he is doing.
2) People always suggest stupid crap (LET'S GO BUY A TOILET!)
3) Jokes get overused.
4) Lazy stuff.

It's funny to an extent.
And the quality of a sprite comic depends on the author's imagination.
Speaking of which, the one I was gonna make never came true.....I blame the fact that I plan to draw out a comic :P

I meant that the one he was making wouldn't be better than this one.

As in, he is actually making one.

Well don't directly assault a member than. Your words could be bended to say "You can't even upload a picture. You expect to make a sprite comic?" Just because he has a few uploading and spriting "issues", doesn't mean his comic will be any worse.

Oh, @jdaster64: Just a tip:

Give everyone a unique personality. Nobody likes to see everyone being an idiot and not seeing the obvious. Eg. Mario and Luigi seem to be idiots. It's better to make conflicting personalities that are polar opposites. Eg. Stupid and Smart. Annoying and Annoyed. Whatever the case, make sure the personalities balance each other out.

This post has been edited by Soiyeruda on Aug 28 2008, 02:50 AM

!?!? I am confused.

Translate: Effort should be a yes, actually try now.

I hate to say this dude, but I don't think you can do any better. He even uses proper grammar.


This is a decently done sprite comic, compared to hundreds of other ones.