MZX Requiem (redone), A remake of my MZX Requiem story

[ProtoTroid Gamma]

Not wasting time, read.

Chapt 1:Rise of Neo-Arcadia
Master Thomas of the Sage Trinity explained the maverickappearances in the eastern areas from Legion, there were old ruins there of an Ancient civilization. The hunters ran to the site, prepared for battle with the mavrericks, leading them was the Model A chosen one, Grey. They arrived at the ruins, and Grey gave them thier orders. "We have to find the Maverick leader, that way they'll retreat!" Grey shouted to his group. They all split up into smaller groups, and earched the area for the Maverick leader.
Grey searched everywhere, no sign of a leader. Suddenly a huge mechanoloid attacked him, almost crushing him. It let out a roar. "Whoa! I'm guessing not gonna tell me who you're leader is!"
It let out another roar, and attacked again. Grey quickly dodged and began to open fire on the mechanoloid, which attacked without hesitation. Grey was wondering if would ever go down, but he still had a chance.
"Out of my way!" He shouted, and fired a fully powered attack on the Mechanoloid.
A hole was blown straight through its core, and it fell to the ground.
Grey recovered from that one attack and continued on. Soon, he found what he was looking for.
"What the!?" Grey was shocked at the appearance of the Maverick leader. He was covered in blue and yellow armor and had bright red eyes, with a crystasl on its head. "Hm? Ah, it seems I have a guest." The reploid said. "Just who are you!?"
"I am the Neo Aracadian Emporer. My name, is X." The reploid answered.
"Neo Arcadia? X? Whats going on here!?" Grey shout in confusion. "It doesn't matter, I have what I came for." X said, and vanished in a flash of light.
Grey stood for a second, wondering. "I bet Legion knows somthing!" Model A said, after a while. Grey smiled. "Your right, lets go!" Grey said, and sped to hunters camp.

There you go.

This post has been edited by Omega_Koopa1 on Sep 17 2008, 08:20 AM

[Mecha the Slag]

oh god I hate fanfics.
It's nice, but you keep repeating "... said, ... answered, ... smiled" and it gets a bit annoying after a while.

[ProtoTroid Gamma]

Excuse me, I only used "Answer" and "Smiled" once. Said may have been overused.