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why is santas timezone in the US?, siliosly

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Sparker the Pikachu

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 07:19 PM

I fell.

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May I ask why this matters?

(Oh wait, this is the CCC)

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Zephyra

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 07:31 PM

Quite enticing I must say
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Santa is in every timezone at once

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B.M.

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 07:34 PM

take a wiz in da bottle: saves toilet water bro
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QUOTE (Pikaboo @ Dec 23 2008, 04:31 PM)

Santa is in every timezone at once

where ever a child's heart is, Santa resides

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Waddle dee	Posted: Dec 23 2008, 07:36 PM
shuddap and dance magic dance Group: Members Posts: 5732 Member No.: 38 Joined: 13-October 03 Status: (0d)	When did Santa ever say he lived in the EST zone? He chose to use the most popular timezone, yes, but that doesn't mean he's in it! --------------------

Doodle	Posted: Dec 23 2008, 08:13 PM
D: Group: Members Posts: 635 Member No.: 4862 Joined: 23-December 07 Status: (0d)	Santa is everywhere. How do you think he knows what your doing ALL THE TIME? He's like the stalker who goes too far. --------------------

Fiddy Three

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 08:44 PM

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QUOTE

1) No known species of reindeer can fly. BUT there are 300,000 species of living organisms yet to be classified, and while most of these are insects and germs, this does not COMPLETELY rule out flying reindeer which only Santa has ever seen.

2) There are 2 billion children (persons under 18) in the world. BUT since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle the Muslim, Hindu, Jewish and Buddhist children, that reduces the workload to 15% of the total - 378 million according to Population Reference Bureau. At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 91.8 million homes. One presumes there's at least one good child in each.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 822.6 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 91.8 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about .78 miles per household, a total trip of 75-1/2 million miles, not counting stops to do what most of us must do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding and etc.

This means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man- made vehicle on earth, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per second - a conventional reindeer can run, tops, 15 miles per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming that each child gets nothing more than a medium-sized lego set (2 pounds), the sleigh is carrying 321,300 tons, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds. Even granting that "flying reindeer" (see point #1) could pull TEN TIMES the normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 214,200 reindeer. This increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh - to 353,430 tons. Again, for comparison - this is four times the weight of the Queen Elizabeth.

5) 353,000 tons traveling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air resistance - this will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening S.O.N.I.C. booms in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa, meanwhile, will be subjected to centrifugal forces 17,500.06 times greater than gravity. A 250-pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of his sleigh by 4,315,015 pounds of force.

In conclusion - If Santa ever DID deliver presents on Christmas Eve, he's dead now.

This post has been edited by Fiddy Three on Dec 23 2008, 08:46 PM

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Mikau	Posted: Dec 23 2008, 08:50 PM
Abel-kun! Abel-kun! Do you have any scarred lips? Group: Members Posts: 2730 Member No.: 3779 Joined: 18-May 07 Status: (0d)	Santa doesn't need logic or science, Santa is a magical being. Like the Easter Bunny -------------------- Oh, Glukom!

Fiddy Three

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 08:55 PM

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QUOTE (Mikau @ Dec 23 2008, 08:50 PM)

Santa doesn't need logic or science, Santa is a magical being.

Like the Easter Bunny

Yeah but:

QUOTE

The lead pair of reindeer will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy. Per second. Each. In short, they will burst into flame almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and create deafening S.O.N.I.C. booms in their wake.

It must take a hell of a lot of magic to get through that.

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B.M.	Posted: Dec 23 2008, 09:03 PM
take a wiz in da bottle: saves toilet water bro Group: Members Posts: 2428 Member No.: 3658 Joined: 19-April 07 Status: (0d)	Santa is a timetraveller! Duh! --------------------

kane]deth[

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 09:58 PM

Standard Member
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QUOTE (Mikau @ Dec 23 2008, 08:50 PM)

Santa doesn't need logic or science, Santa is a magical being.

Like the Easter Bunny

Even if he was magic, if there's only one santa, he'd have to teleport every 0.001 of a second to go to every house.

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Ziso

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 11:02 PM

Should I be concerned?
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QUOTE (Fiddy Three @ Dec 23 2008, 08:44 PM)

(proofs)

I friggin laughed at this.

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Project_MK

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 11:05 PM

Wayward Vagabond
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QUOTE (kane]deth[ @ Dec 23 2008, 08:58 PM)

Even if he was magic, if there's only one santa, he'd have to teleport every 0.001 of a second to go to every house.

with magic comes time stoppage.

I mean, how else could he make over one thousand toys in only a few nights?

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Ziso

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 11:07 PM

Should I be concerned?
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QUOTE (Project_MK @ Dec 23 2008, 11:05 PM)

with magic comes time stoppage.

I mean, how else could he make over nine thousand toys in only a few nights?

What's this?

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TurboMan	Posted: Dec 23 2008, 11:10 PM
Goddamn 07'ers Group: Members Posts: 17000 Member No.: 1027 Joined: 8-May 05 Status: (0d)	SANTA IS ANAGRAM FOR Tanas, the Klingon commander during Dominion War. --------------------

Ziso

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 11:13 PM

Should I be concerned?
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QUOTE (TurboMan @ Dec 23 2008, 11:10 PM)

SANTA IS ANAGRAM FOR

Tanas, the Klingon commander during Dominion War.

It's an anagram for Satan.

:O

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Morshu McPhereson

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 11:13 PM

Who's got the sweetest disposition?
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QUOTE (B.M. @ Dec 23 2008, 07:34 PM)

where ever a child's heart is, Santa resides

Ziso

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 11:21 PM

Should I be concerned?
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QUOTE (Ziso @ Dec 23 2008, 11:13 PM)

It's an anagram for Satan.

:O

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Arch Ninji

Posted: Dec 23 2008, 11:33 PM

Epic MFGG Member, Jah?
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QUOTE (B.M. @ Dec 23 2008, 07:34 PM)

where ever a child's heart is, Santa resides

Oh is Santa a yanku? *epic inside joke*

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Char

Posted: Dec 24 2008, 07:14 AM

fad was bad
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QUOTE (Fiddy)

stuff

OH GOD
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WIN.

This post has been edited by Char on Dec 24 2008, 07:15 AM

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aa this broke

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Black Squirrel	Posted: Dec 24 2008, 07:17 AM
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