bash.org quotes, again (some NSFW)

N-word warning, though in this context it's not actually offensive toward blacks.

Spoilers:

<Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting near this group of black guys at a table and they all had tucked in shirts and ****, looked educated, I think they were studying calculus or some **** <Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them wore ****ing grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some 50 cent ringtone or some **** <Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii" <Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me muttered "****ing ******s" <Turkeyslam> I choked on my ****ing jolt cola

Spoilers:

<NHBoy> I broke my G-string while fingering a minor <rycool> ... <NHBoy> I was trying to play Knocking on Heaven's Door. <NHBoy> Oh well, time to buy new strings.

<Pciber> Dude.
<Pciber> I just thought of the awesomest AIDS campain slogan.
<Pciber> AIDS Kills, We ain't ****in around!

Oh god.

Slightly NSFW:

Spoilers:

madskz: i' tried ass **** takefive: haha takefive: how was it? madskz: what?? madskz: oh **** madskz: *i'm tired as ****

<|Asriel> How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?
<|Asriel> Two, one to change the bulb and the other to hold the *****
<|Asriel> I mean ladder!

<@AntiHeiss> friend of mine went to jail last night
<@AntiHeiss> he probably isn't getting out for a while
<%The_Coolest> y?
<+Enyo> why?
<%The_Coolest> :o
<@AntiHeiss> it was a girl cop, she was pretty cute too
<@AntiHeiss> she said anything you say can and will be held against you....he sat there for a while and said '****'

This post has been edited by Pikaboo on Jan 2 2009, 11:19 PM

<Sabdo> on one of those speech-to-text programs my friend ripped ass onto the mic.
<Sabdo> and it typed out "France"
<Sabdo> we were like, wtf?

I cant breathgfffffffff

jesus
1999 or what

<Larno> I got terribly smashed the night before
<Larno> And some electricity cable broke down in my street
<Larno> it was like 6am postman and garbage dudes were there- watching them workin on it and the street was blocked by police cars
<Larno> eventually they knocked at my door so i m in front of a cop, a worker with his helmet a garbage mate, a postman and my neighbour- a huge black guy who works in IT
<Larno> and all I can say is "oh maan the village people became jheovah witnesses"

<bytraper> im like midas... everything I touch turns to ****



Mike3285: wtf is a palindrome
MaroonSand: no its not dude



gentoogod: omg dude
gentoogod: today i might the stupidest 3 people i ever met
gentoogod: thier 3 brains combined couldnt solve the dilemma they faced today
siral21: what was it
gentoogod: ok before i say this
gentoogod: 100% true, not one second of a lie
gentoogod: this lady went into mcdonalds today and ordered a big mac for her
gentoogod: and ordered 2 mcgrittles one for each kid. one had bacon one without
gentoogod: her sons are around 18 or 19 so not infants
gentoogod: she went to the counter furious cause the son that wanted bacon has no bacon on his and the one that didnt want bacon has bacon on his
gentoogod: i fell on the floor beside her and couldnt stop laughing
gentoogod: so i finally stood up and asked her to repeat, thinking maybe shes drunk
gentoogod: i swear to god she looked at me straight faced and repeated it. and her 2 sons were beside her mad that they didnt get the order they wanted

This post has been edited by Pikaboo on Jan 2 2009, 11:57 PM

<BloodNose> I'm actually going out for the weekend ... *gasp*
<BloodNose> to spend a night ...
<Blender13> woah
<BloodNose> at a girls house *bigger gasp*
<cryptonix> his aunts
<BloodNose> lol
<Blender13> lol
<BloodNose> and like, I've never even met this girl before
<Blender13> obviously his aunt
<cryptonix> great aunt
<Blender13> ah
<BloodNose> apparently she's really fit and been offered a modeling job
<cryptonix> hot great aunt
<Blender13> and why the hell are you going there?
<BloodNose> ok, brb ... I need to phone my uncle to see if it's alright with my aunt still

fffff oh wow

<benja> A worldwide survey was conducted by the UN. The only question
asked was:"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the
food shortage in the rest of the world?"
<benja> The survey was a huge failure...
<benja> In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.
<benja> In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.
<benja> In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.
<benja> In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.
<benja> In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.
<benja> In South America they didn't know what "please" meant.
<benja> And in the USA they didn't know what "the rest of the world" meant



<billyblacktop> yo yo yo, sup my n****s?
<jimmy2toes> your not black
<billyblacktop> how do you know that?
<jimmy2toes> I hacked your webcam, and now I can see you
<billyblacktop> yeah right you cant do that
<jimmy2toes> I can and I did.
<billyblacktop> ok then what color hair do I have
<jimmy2toes> Hmmm, let me zoom in a bit. Blonde, and you are white, about 6' 2", your room has an emenim poster and your bedspread is yellow and blue.
<billyblacktop> holy **** man im telling the cops
Quits: {billyblacktop} (billyb@235.253.473.232) (Quit:)
<jimmy2toes> LMAO, that was a friend of mine, I just set up his comp today, and showed him mirc, he doesnt know my nick, what a fat tool!!!
<nellcarterlookalike> A fat tool indeed.

LAWL.

<third_planet> The other night my friend had some pot and wanted me to smoke it with him, but we had nowhere to smoke it because both our parents were home.
<third-planet> So we drove around looking for a place to park so we could smoke in the car.
<third-planet> We eventually settled on a Wendys parking lot..
<Mr-Butlertron> The logic is all there...
<third-planet> I know, it was a ridiculous idea. We were just desperate and that was the first place to pull off..
<third-planet> So we park in the back of the parking lot under this tree, and it's dark out, so we figure we're secluded enough. We start to light up and a cop pulls in. So we both sit really still and hope the cop will think the car is empty and just parked there. Or that he won't notice.
<third-planet> The cop circles the parking lot once, then parks behind us and we're both freaking out. So Bobby, my friend, takes all the pot and shoves it in the glove compartment. But the car smells like pot, so we figure we're busted.
<third-planet> So Bobby says we've gotta distract the cop from the pot. In a huge flash, he rips his shirt off, undoes my pants and sticks his hand inside. Before I can process what's happening, the cop knocks on my window. Then he looks in and sees Bobby shirtless, with his hand down my pants and turns bright red.
<third-planet> I roll my window down and the cop says in this really flustered voice, his face bright red, "you guys be good now" and walks quickly back to his car and drives off.
<third-planet> He didn't even notice the smell of pot.
<third-planet> We drove home in the most uncomfortable ****ing silence ever.