How do you keep sane?

Hi folks,

I wanted to ask you a question... The people that will take the time to think. I am asking a deathly serious question.

How do you Keep your family sane as well as yourself, when a pivotal person of the family (My grandmother on my mother's side) has cancer and is dieing?

Let me explain the scenario, My grandparents don't have that good of insurance to fully cover for this. My father and mother originally set them up with THE PERFECT insurance for this scenario. However my Eldest Uncle and Youngest Uncle, both decided to scam them into an insurance that doesn't cover hospital bills as well, but gives a discount to pills. Making my Grandmother an addict to pills, and inevitably the start of this problem.


She first Overdosed on pain med's and was rushed to the hospital. Then she was detoxed and it was discovered that she has cancer in her Lung and Kidney. My Mother and Uncle John (both the middle children) now come and try to take care of her... However my Youngest Uncle decides to get an idea to move my grandmother to a nursing home in Chicago... (where he lives)... while My Eldest Uncle and My Mother live out here in Las Vegas.

That is the first scenario... of many.


However today, (April 6th) My Grandmother's Heartbeat Flat-lined early today. She was recovered and sent to intensive care. She's not expected to live for much longer.. and my mother's family is practicly ripping apart one another, making my Mom a nervous breakdown. (Her and my Uncle John being the only ones with moral ethics)

So please, tell me what can I do for my mother and family?

Oh wow... this took me off guard. I don't know what to say... I'm sorry and I hope your family pulls through... I think you should prioritize your own sanity... try and clear your mind, and take perspective. If you pull through, you can help the rest of your family, you just need to ensure you yourself are sane enough to understand when your family members are anrgy. Maybe you should get the family together and come to an understanding.
I really don't know what I can offer, never been in this situation. All I can say is... good luck.
But posting a topic in MFGG and hoping for serious answers? Good luck.

Why would you even post this here?

Because he hopes MFGG will put aside it's sarcasm and puns to give him some advice on something very emotionally trying.

Because I don't know if anyone else has had to deal with something like this bubbleman.


And if they did, I wanted to know how they coped with it... if you don't have anything worth-while to say, then don't say anything.

I think what I have to say is very worth-while. I really don't think you should be posting this kind of stuff on some mario forum. If you want help, talk to your family, who is, ironically, going through the exact same thing as you are.

I'm in much the same boat. My grandma has been in and out of the emergency room for months now. She can't eat solid foods and, due to the cancer growing on her bowels, often throws everything up anyways. She, too, is not expected to live much longer. :\

Every time I'm in the neighborhood I'll drop by my grandparent's house or the hospital (whichever she's at) and just say hello to her. She usually gets a little teary-eyed, but that's a small price to pay for some quality final days. I don't know how my dad is taking it all, but he seems okay.

Speaking out of experience, I wouldn't try to assume what your mom and uncles are feeling. I can't relate to the death of a parent, so I don't question their emotions. I try to be sociable and reliable, which is about all I'm fit to do right now.

My family situation isn't quite the same as yours, of course, but that's how I live with my grandma's condition.

I understand, but I just need to know if there is anything else I can do...

Sorry if this post seems idiotic for me to of made this post.

Ok, Well here is my sane post

Someone shot my dog when I was two, I saw my friend kill a cat, my neighbor told me he killed my cat,I was molested on two occasions, I said hi to my friend 20 minutes before she died, I've seen the majority of my pets die, my mother is a schizophrenic that had three other kids all with different fathers, my dad has dyslexia, use to be a drunk when I was little, my dad is abusive in two kinds of ways, mentally and physically, I almost died when I was 12 from HSP and double pneumonia, My family doesn't talk with each other, because they hate one another,I've attempted suicide various times,I was kicked out on my birthday and barely have enough money to support myself.


Yup, I'm sane alright.

Oh, the majority of my family has cancer, there's nothing really you can do about it, just hope for the best.

This post has been edited by Visionary on Apr 7 2009, 12:26 AM

How does that help Medri though?

It doesn't.

Actually, im just going to log out, sorry.

This post has been edited by Visionary on Apr 7 2009, 12:28 AM

Isn't that a little rude, then? Not to say I condone attracting or pursuing attention from others, but when someone makes a topic about a seriously detrimental event in their life that they honest-to-God need help with, I always thought if you had no advice or at least sympathy to give, you should let the person alone. Playing "Who's life is more miserable?" only makes the victim of the circumstance feel worse about their already less-than-favourable condition because all you do is give them the impression that their feelings are irrelevant or so petty that they don't deserve to feel them in the first place. We're not trying to trump each other in who deserves more pity here, we should be trying to help Medri out, no?

I think this all comes down to facing up to mortality and that she is in fact old. This was going ot happen someday and everyone knew it. Everyone needs to be as mature as possible.

This thread....



is really depressing. I'm going to bed, now.

Sorry about your family Medri

Feeling down won't get you anywhere (easy for me to say).

Sorry to hear, Medri. I've been there with an Uncle of mine. It's not a fun time.

All it can boil down to is accepting the fact that death is an inevitable occurrence. Just do your best to make her life comfortable, and enjoy the time you have left with her, engaging in what conversation you can. When it ends, try to end it with a smile on both your and her face

As far as keeping sane, that's a more personal issue. You seem down-to-earth, so I'm sure you'll find a way to cope, but you're family will just need to be willing to talk to each other and support any feelings someone shows.

That's about all I can give you, mate. Good luck.