jokes

aerodactyl

that's the joke.jpg

:L

Racist warning!! But it's funny

So a white guy and a Mexican guy are on a game show..

And the host says you need to use PINK, GREEN, and YELLOW in the same sentance

so the white guy says " My shirt is pink, the grass is green, and the sun is yellow"

the Mexican guy says (IN SPANISH ACCENT)"The phone goes GREEN GREEN and I PINK up the phone and say YELLOW!!

This post has been edited by MR.1UP on Apr 21 2009, 05:02 PM

That reminds me of the liver and cheese joke, I don't remember the exact punchline but... (RACIST WARNING)

White guy: "I ate liver and cheese for dinner."
Black guy: "The big corporate cheese banged my wife so I stabbed him in the liver."
Mexican guy: "Liver alone! Cheese my sister!"

I laughed at the first post

So a friend of mine's dad was born in Mexico, and he told me about how he first came to America.
"I tell you, Americans are so nice!"
"What makes you say that?" I asked.
"When I first come to America, I want to go to big baseball game, the great American pastime! And, they treat me like honored guest!"
"How so?"
"They ask if I can see the field, they all stand up and sing, 'Jose, can you see?'"

dfsgdfddfgs

hahahhaha that's a good one

This guy gets in a horrible accident. When he wakes up in the hospital the doctor says "You were in an accident. Don't worry though; we fixed you up good as new... only problem is that you lost an eye. But don't worry! You can get a realistic prosthetic eye for 5000 dollars!" The guy looks at the doctor and says "Wow... with the already expensive hospital bill that's a little steep. Got anything cheaper?" The doctor says "Well... we have this plastic eye. Looks real enough but doesn't move. 1000 dollars." Guy goes, "Still too expensive, got anything cheaper?" The doctor thinks for a second and says, "Well, we have this wooden eye. You won't look so great but at least you won't have a hole in your head. 100 dollars." The guy accepts it. A few weeks later he builds up the courage to go the local dance. He's feeling really down until he sees this girl with a birth defect; her lip is split in half. "Hmm," He thinks, "She's just as defective as me! Maybe she'll dance with me." So he walks up to her and says, "Would you like to dance?" (Say this next part out loud to understand it...) She goes, "Would I? Would I?" And the guy bursts out,"HAIR LIP, HAIR LIP!"

This post has been edited by Mason on Apr 21 2009, 05:40 PM

what's... pink and...

I can't finish it.

it took me 6 minutes to get that

HAHA, THIS JOKE IS SO ****ING FUNNY

Seriously? O_O

what did the slugma say when its car got stolen

Spoilers:

where'd magcargo !!!!!!!!!!!!

OK so these 3 REALLY nice guys die.. so the Devil comes down and says " you 3 have been too good in your lives so I'll cut you a deal, if you do 1 bad thing you may take a sip of the holy water and you will come back to life!"

So they're like "OKAY!!"

So guy no.1 comes back and says "I ran over a families cat"
And the devil says "OOOOH very good, you may take a sip of the Holy Water"

guy no.2 comes back and says "I just killed all of my room mates"
Devil says "That will definitely do, you may take a sip of the Holy Water"

guy no.3 comes back and Devil says "What did you do bad"

he says
Spoilers:

"I JUST PEED IN THE HOLY WATER!"

This post has been edited by MR.1UP on Apr 21 2009, 06:49 PM

I don't get it.

eh, i got a couple

So there's this guy who's been trapped in the desert for days. He has no food or water, just a brick in his backpack. He's finally snapped, so he decides to just take the brick and hit himself with it. He grabs the brick and throws it up into the air as hard as he can, waiting for it to hit him...
Spoilers:

but it never does! Ayuk ayuk yuk!

One time, Sherlock Holmes and Watson went out on a camping trip. It was late at night and the two had gone to sleep, but Sherlock was getting cold and woke up. He turned to Watson and asked,
"What do you see?"
"Millions of stars," Watson replied.
"And what does that mean?"
"Well," Watson replied, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Sherlock stared at Watson in amazement for a moment before answering, Spoilers:

"Watson, you idiot! Someone stole our tent!"

Okay, so this lady was about to go on a hot air balloon ride. She grabbed a picnic basket from her friend and hopped on. The lady watched as the balloon flew over many picturesque mountains and other beautiful sights for about an hour before she got hungry. She reached into her picnic basket, and what did she find but a live duck! Shocked, she through the duck out of the balloon and grabbed a sandwich. She'd almost finished her lunch when she heard a faint woosh noise from outside the balloon. She peaked her head over the edge of the balloon basket, and was suddenly hit square in the jaw with
Spoilers:

the brick!

Hahahahahhaha I was like" 1st joke was stupid"
then I read 3rd joke lolololololol!!