|
Some are listed here.
| QUOTE | | Some people, when confronted with a problem, think ``I know, I'll use regular expressions.'' Now they have more problem. -- jwz |
| QUOTE | | Some people, when confronted with a joke, think ``I know, I'll use that Jamie Zawinski quote.'' Now they have more problem. -- jwz |
| QUOTE | Actual warning sign:
*DANGER*
DO NOT WALK
ON CEILING |
| QUOTE | Temporary Airbrush Tattoos
That last forever
Ask me how. |
| QUOTE | Some people were asked what they wanted to be when they grow up, and answered:
* A prince
* A Power Ranger
* A bus
* An elephant (this comes from a girl who gets straight A's in her class)
* A snowman
* A dog
* A male African lion
* A fire engine (not a fire fighter): Red, shiny, ladder, and loud siren
* A big sister
* A fairy
* A kitten
* A goat
* Either an astronaut or a goblin
* Ariel from The Little Mermaid
* A flower (when told she couldn't be a flower, she decided she wanted to
be Tarzan instead)
* A ghost
* A dinosaur
* A pickle
* The queen, because she gets a lot of pocket money
* A rainbow
* I wanna have my very own WATERMELON STAND! |
From a movie published by 2600:
| QUOTE | FBI WARNING
ENFORCEMENT AGENCIES TAKE NOTE -
THE RIGHTS OF THE PEOPLE WILL NOT
BE ABUSED FOREVER. WE HAVE
STRENGTH IN NUMBERS AND THE
CONVICTION OF OUR BELIEFS.
THE FILM YOU HAVE JUST SEEN IS
ONE OF MANY WAYS OF SPREADING
THE MESSAGE. WE WILL CONTINUE TO
PUBLISH MAGAZINES, HAVE MEETINGS,
DO RADIO SHOWS, USE THE INTERNET -
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY - WE WILL
BE WATCHING YOU. |
| QUOTE | The voice phone just rang.
Me "Hello?"
Voice "Hello, am I speaking to Mr Asher?"
Me "Who?"
Voice "I'm calling from [mumbles name of company]"
Me "Is that you Jane? You haven't called for a week or two"
Voice "I'm not Jane"
Me "Who are you?"
Voice "I am [unintelligible]"
Me "Who?"
Voice "I am Rose"
Me "Rose? Usually you say you are Jane, or Sarah, or Fifi"
Voice "I've never called before"
Me "Is Jane there? Can you put her on?"
Voice "I don't know Jane"
Me "What's your number?"
Voice "I'm calling from an automatic dialler"
Me "What's its number?"
Voice "It's an automatic dialler. It doesn't have a number"
Me "It must have a number to call from"
Voice "[mumble]"
Beep beep beep
[Works every time :)] |
| QUOTE | At Calgary, the computer science department has an award called the
Williams Cup (as in old stained coffee cup), which is given yearly to
the student who hands in the most imaginative rendition of a regular
programming assignment.
Anyway, as the story goes, the cup was awarded to a student who'd done
a desk calculator assignment. Seems that the prof hadn't specified that
you had to do it in decimal, so his/her program did math with Roman
Numerals.
The clincher for the award must have been his/her programming style,
since of course, the documentation was in Latin). |
(You can add your own if you want to)
--------------------
|
Fortune collection quotes
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