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Pip's stumble upon topic, just in case swear warning

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Pip

Posted: Aug 4 2009, 02:34 PM

you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice
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Posts: 5151
Member No.: 2941
Joined: 13-November 06

Status: (0d) [--]

QUOTE

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 10.16am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Thankyou for your letter concerning pets in my apartment. I understand that having dogs in the apartment is a violation of the agreement due to the comfort and wellbeing of my neighbours and I am currently soundproofing my apartment with egg cartons as I realise my dogs can cause quite a bit of noise. Especially during feeding time when I release live rabbits.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

I have received your email and wish to remind you that the strata agreement states that no animals are allowed in the building regardless of if your apartment is soundproof. How many dogs do you have at the premises?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 21 May 2009 1.52pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

Currently I only have eight dogs but one is expecting puppies and I am very excited by this. I am hoping for a litter of at least ten as this is the number required to participate in dog sled racing. I have read every Jack London novel in preparation and have constructed my own sled from timber I borrowed from the construction site across the road during the night. I have devised a plan which I feel will ensure me taking first place in the next national dog sled championships. For the first year of the puppies life I intend to say the word mush then chase them violently around the apartment while yelling and hitting saucepan lids together. I have estimated that the soundproofing of my apartment should block out at least sixty percent of the noise and the dogs will learn to associate the word mush with great fear so when I yell it on race day, the panic and released adrenaline will spur them on to being winners. I am so confident of this being a foolproof plan that I intend to sell all my furniture the day before the race and bet the proceeds on coming first place.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 9.43am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am unsure what to make of your email. Do you have pets in the apartment or not?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 11.27am
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

No. I have a goldfish but due to the air conditioner in my apartment being stuck on a constant two degrees celcius, the water in its bowl is iced over and he has not moved for a while so I do not think he is capable of disturbing the neighbours. The ducks in the bathroom are not mine. The noise which my neighbours possibly mistook for a dog in the apartment is just the looping tape I have of dogs barking which I play at high volume while I am at work to deter potential burglars from breaking in and stealing my tupperware. I need it to keep food fresh. Once I ate leftover chinese that had been kept in an unsealed container and I experienced complete awareness. The next night I tried eating it again but only experienced chest pains and diarrhoea.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 1.46pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Hello David

You cannot play sounds of dogs or any noise at a volume that disturbs others. I am sure you can appreciate that these rules are for the benefit of all residents of the building. Fish are fine. You cannot have ducks in the apartment though. If it was small birds that would be ok.

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 2.18pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

They are very small ducks.

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 4.06pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, under section 4 of the strata residency agreement it states that you cannot have pets. You agreed to these rules when you signed the forms. These rules are set out to benefit everyone in the building including yourself. Do you have a telephone number I can call you on to discuss?

Helen

From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 22 May 2009 5.02pm
To: Helen Bailey
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

Dear Helen,

The ducks will no doubt be flying south for the winter soon so it will not be an issue. It is probably for the best as they are not getting along very well with my seventeen cats anyway. .

Regards, David.

From: Helen Bailey
Date: Monday 25 May 2009 9.22am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Pets in the building

David, I am just going to write on the forms that we have investigated and you do not have any pets.

Helen

quoted because link is not exactly kid friendly

This post has been edited by Pip on Aug 4 2009, 03:40 PM

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**** are p. cool

Marigi	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 02:36 PM
PLEASE USE CAPS IF YOU INTEND ON BEING TAKEN SERIOUSLY. Group: Members Posts: 4876 Member No.: 726 Joined: 14-December 04 Status: (0d)	Yes! My last apartment, the landlord never fixed **. Me: "Hey *, the top lock of my door broke." Landlord: "Ok, I'll be over by the end of the day to fix it!" Never got fixed. Me: "Hey mother **er, the A/C is broken." Landlord: "Ok, I'll fix it soon!" 3 weeks later. -_- AND SO ON AND SO ON --------------------

Mecha the Slag

Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:06 PM

http://mechaware.net
[*]

Group: Members
Posts: 11816
Member No.: 728
Joined: 15-December 04

Status: (0d) [--]

hahahaha

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Hippoman

Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:22 PM

Cam 24/7

Group: Members
Posts: 2935
Member No.: 74
Joined: 16-October 03

Status: (0d) [--]

Read already but awesome.

I am my landlord :l

People sometimes ***** at me.

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QUOTE

so edgy and cool

You know I never claimed/That I was a stone/And you love a stone.

Pip	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:27 PM
you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice Group: Members Posts: 5151 Member No.: 2941 Joined: 13-November 06 Status: (0d)	-------------------- **** are p. cool

Pip	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:30 PM
you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice Group: Members Posts: 5151 Member No.: 2941 Joined: 13-November 06 Status: (0d)	http://www.strangeplaces.net/weirdthings/travel.html -------------------- **** are p. cool

The Pyro

Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:36 PM

Group: Members
Posts: 3248
Member No.: 2971
Joined: 21-November 06

Status: (0d) [--]

QUOTE (Pip @ Aug 4 2009, 03:27 PM)

dzdsfdsadfasdf

this is amazing

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Pip	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:38 PM
you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice Group: Members Posts: 5151 Member No.: 2941 Joined: 13-November 06 Status: (0d)	http://www.sunbeltsoftware.com/stu/gravemarkers/index.html -------------------- **** are p. cool

Sparks

Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:40 PM

hurr hurr freakin hurr
[*]

Group: Members
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Joined: 16-June 06

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QUOTE

A woman called and said, "I need to fly to Pepsi-cola on one of those computer planes." I asked if she meant to fly to Pensacola on a commuter plane. She said, "Yeah, whatever."

wow

--------------------

Reference character thing- whatever why do you care
ddaaaaaww (relmm)
user posted image

Demonlemon	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:41 PM
MY CHILDREN COMETH Group: Members Posts: 5647 Member No.: 3281 Joined: 9-February 07 Status: (0d)	ffffffffff -------------------- If life gives you lemons... RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!! TCOTL Reference Humanoid reference Drawings/sprites people have made me.

Sparks	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:43 PM
hurr hurr freakin hurr Group: Members Posts: 1131 Member No.: 2198 Joined: 16-June 06 Status: (0d)	haha -------------------- Reference character thing- whatever why do you care ddaaaaaww (relmm)

shroomguy

Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:45 PM

COWBOY UP

Group: Members
Posts: 2087
Member No.: 5365
Joined: 31-May 08

Status: (0d) [--]

--------------------

Ref by fujiko Ref by hatman

QUOTE

Dude

he's shroomguy

he's Segata Sanshiro, Bruce Lee and Ryu Hayabusa all fused together

Also Rorschach

GARNIA
Brutha from anutha motha

Pip	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:45 PM
you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice Group: Members Posts: 5151 Member No.: 2941 Joined: 13-November 06 Status: (0d)	http://www.gamesolo.com/flash-game/pacxon.html -------------------- **** are p. cool

Pip	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 03:51 PM
you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice Group: Members Posts: 5151 Member No.: 2941 Joined: 13-November 06 Status: (0d)	http://bluntcard.com/compose.php?imageid=166 -------------------- **** are p. cool

Pip	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 04:13 PM
you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice Group: Members Posts: 5151 Member No.: 2941 Joined: 13-November 06 Status: (0d)	http://funny2.com/facts.htm -------------------- **** are p. cool

Mr. Aforcer	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 04:33 PM
KAH-PEEWLS HERE Group: Badge Mod Posts: 35496 Member No.: 588 Joined: 5-September 04 Status: (0d)	I like this topic. -------------------- Cappy's furry fantasy of me

Sparks

Posted: Aug 4 2009, 04:34 PM

hurr hurr freakin hurr
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Group: Members
Posts: 1131
Member No.: 2198
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QUOTE (Pip @ Aug 4 2009, 03:45 PM)

http://www.gamesolo.com/flash-game/pacxon.html

wtf I played that for an hour

--------------------

Reference character thing- whatever why do you care
ddaaaaaww (relmm)
user posted image

Pip	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 04:38 PM
you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice Group: Members Posts: 5151 Member No.: 2941 Joined: 13-November 06 Status: (0d)	http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_unusual_deaths -------------------- **** are p. cool

Pip	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 05:08 PM
you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice Group: Members Posts: 5151 Member No.: 2941 Joined: 13-November 06 Status: (0d)	-------------------- **** are p. cool

Pip	Posted: Aug 4 2009, 05:15 PM
you are now reading my posts in chris tucker's voice Group: Members Posts: 5151 Member No.: 2941 Joined: 13-November 06 Status: (0d)	http://www.safenow.org/ -------------------- **** are p. cool

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