Colin Shiflett's Greenburg

[Bungalo]

http://www.sheezyart.com/view/346776/



- Colin Shiflett's Greenburg-


"Im starting to get Cabin Fever." I said to one of my fellow 'captives' of this hell hole.

"Very funny." He said.

"Seriously... This is driving me nuts." I said back to him in somewhat anger tone.

"Help will come for us." Another man said to me in a insecure voice.

We all knew help wasn't coming... It was just us and them. It is day 5 being in this nightmare. We have been locked in this cabin for 2 days now. The windows and doors are boarded. We cant get out and we are short on food. We could hear the monsters just outside scratching our cabin to find a way in. There was no way in unless they could bash down the door or a window.

I am Matt Ezel. Just an ordinary man in a dangerous world, and maybe a bit on the crazy side.. There are 3 others here with me. Dave, a rugged man who is a tad bit mysterious. Gary, a nervous wreck and very booksmart. Then their is Jenny, who comes off as a dumb blonde, but I think there is more to her than meets the eye.

"How much food we have left?" said Dave.

"About another day or so..." replied Gary with a very scared tone.

"I hope we dont have to eat eachother..." Jenny added, looking a bit green.

Dave stood up quickly and replied to her comment in a very stern voice "We will not be eating eachother. We will start cooking some of
those monsters before we do that ****!."

"Please do not use cusswords."

"I will say anything I want to, *****."

"Please... just stop."

I butted in. "Stop, Dave."

He sat down. Everyone in the room was tense. We sat there quietly for about 10 mins.

Gary broke the silence. "This is nonsense.... utter nonsense."

Gary stood up and walked to where we kept the gun incase of an emergency. He picked it up, loaded it, and then ****ed it.

"Put that down." Dave said in a very angry voice and quickly jumped up out of his chair.

"I can't take this anymore... I rather kill myself than to die at the hands of those... those... what ever the hell they are..."

"Just put the gun down... we can get through this."

"No... We cant... We have one gun... and one day's worth of food... There is no way we can survive this... but we dont have to die
at the hands of those creatures. There is plent of bullets for each of us."

"I refuse to kill myself." Jenny whimpered.

Gary put the gun in his mouth. I turned away, closed my eyes and heard a gun shot.

--------------------

I remember how this all started and how I could be not locked up in this cabin right now...


Day 1.


It was Monday, the sun was shining down the streets of North Greenburg. I woke up late once again, I had to go to a conference in Chicago.

"Oh ****. I am so fired. I gotta catch that plane" I said to myself. I quickly jumped out of bed and got ready. When running through the house, I slipped on my skateboard and fell, which broke my tooth.

"Dammit! OW! OW! OW!" I screamed in pain. "I should go to a dentist, but I cant right now... I gotta get to that conference."

I finished getting ready, my tooth was still in great pain. I hopped in the car and drove to the airport. It felt like my gums were on fire. I rubbed my finger on where i broke my tooth. I hadn't broke it, it was completely gone, and I was bleeding... bleeding pretty bad.

"Man, If I just cleaned up the place I wouldn't be in this jam."

I couldn't take the pain anymore. I rather get fired than live with this pain. I drove to my local dentist to get my gum fixed.

I waited in the waiting room for about 2 mins but it seemed like an 2 hours. The pain was that unbearable. The Dentist called me in and I sat down.

"This looks pretty bad." He said. "I'm gonna have to put you to sleep before I can operate."

"Operate?" I said nervously.

"If you want that fixed, I will have to." he replied.

The dentist then put the mask on me, and I passed out in seconds.

I awoke sometime later. A little sleepy, I decieded to stay in the chair for a bit. My mouth felt pretty good. I stuck my finger in my mouth to make sure.
The tooth was still gone, but their was no hole or bleeding.

"That dentist does some good work." I said to myself as my mouth was still a bit numb.

After a few minutes, I got a little worried. No one came in, or walked past the door. I decieded to get up. I walked down the hallway and looked into other dentist rooms. No one was there. I went to the front desk. No one was there also. I started to freak out. I rushed outside to find the streets full of cars, all empty. I ran to the shop across the street, it was also empty.

Then I saw a man walking down the street... He was walking oddly slow.

I hollered at him "HEY! SIR!?"

He didnt answer, but he kept walking towards me, just looking at the ground. He was about 40 feet away from me when I noticed that his leg was bleeding.

"Are you okay, sir?" I asked him.

He just kept walking towards me, with a limp, looking at the ground.

I walked over to him and put my arm on his shoulder and said "Sir? Are you okay?"

He turned his head up. His eyes were gone, with was blood all over his face. His turned down his head where I laid, and grinned a grimmley smile.

This post has been edited by Commander Keen on Mar 13 2005, 05:53 PM

[Bungalo]

No one like reading?

[jas]

That's a great story ^_^

Some grammar errors, but a fantastic story. Can't wait to read more

[Bungalo]

Do i have to force feed this to you guys?

[ShadowMan]

Read it earlier. Lots of grammar mistakes, but it sets a pretty good atmosphere.

[AquaMan]

I like reading, but these darker stories creep me. I enjoy light reading like the Sesame Street Treasurey or "I Wanna Go Home!" So, if you want a comment...Issa creepay

[Bungalo]

*bump* Currently writing part 2.... You people need to learn how to read.

[Captain Jeff Silvers]

Some grammar mistakes, but nice.

Another issue is that you seem to maintain the same sentence structure through all the dialogue. That tends to get boring after a while. But other than that, very nice, sets the atmosphere very well.